Tuesday, June 08, 2010

When things can't be changed...

Today marks a very important day in my life. It marked the end of a 3 year struggle and a start towards something more challenging and exciting. Also nerve-wrecking for some reason. But the most important thing of all is that it is a day to be shared with loved ones. My struggle was something really subjective, would never mean the same to anyone, neither will anyone have any idea how much effort, or how much was gained out of it. It was entirely up to me to define it. But i think i myself wont be able to write out a perfect definition to this 3 years that I've faced.

Today was a day filled with mixed emotions. I was given a fair share of every emotion at one go: happiness, sadness, frustration, regrets, heart-broken...

It was meant to be a day to be shared with everyone who has been with me through life, or maybe through this 3 years, but sadly, i shared it finally only with 2 people who mean the world to me: mum and dad. I miss those times, especially during my STPM results day, friends rushing, wanting to know how u did, even without perfect scores, u cherish every little bit of it, and u hear congratulations, the first word that comes out from every friend u have in ur circle. Its wonderful, with the minimum amount of jealousy and hatred, its honest and very innocent of us all.

But things have changed. In a mere 3 years i have realised that the way to the top is lonely. You can see many people with various backgrounds acting very differently to a particular situation. My dad always reminded me: In order to climb a mountain, it will take a lot of pain, a lot of courage, a lot of emotional restrain. Its important to keep your goal right in front of u, and never to break down due to external disturbance.

The man who climbed mount everest. So many injured, so many just fell off, many just died on the spot... but yet he continued, yes it may seem selfish as proabably he didn't stop to help, but its only due to that little struggle he managed to climb up to the top. Honestly, its not about being selfish. Its about having a goal. Yes, he climbed and he saw many failing through, but u must appreciate his effort, its like fighting through the odds, fighting through something that was virtually impossible.

The world is no longer a peaceful land. Everyone thinks of him/herself, and there is no one who is genuinely thinking about you, except for your beloved parents. For some reason, they may not be the type to show u love, but they have all the hope and dream and courage to fight through everything just to make sure you get and achieve the best.

Good is no longer appreciated. A friend in need is no longer a friend in deed. And Life is no longer as beautiful as it seems. Its not degrading, its just me being totally honest and totally genuine about the current situation. Yes, it is the fight of the century, and only the fittest wins. Though love is more valuable than money, money talks these days and some say money can even buy love. So moral of the story: Nothing is gained entirely, and every gain never stays for eternity. In order to gain you must be ready to loose, and in order to loose, you must be prepared for the worst circumstances. Its not being pessimistic, its just about watching your back. Once stabbed, it may heal, but consecutive stabbing may cause life, and life is ours entirely and not for some fool to come and take it from us.

No i am not pissed, i am frustrated cause we are living in a world where nothing is every appreciated, and everything is taken for granted.

Wake up people, i think its a time for change!


  1. hahaha... thanks.. sajer je.. spilling my gutz!