But as i think about whats there, what is being shown right in front of my eyes, i realised that there is so much that i should think about then wondering about the future. Its best to surrender it to fate, let it show its way and some day or another, it will take us to: our destination, the place we're meant to be, the choices we're meant to make and the life we're meant to live. The irony about the human mind is that, in just a moment of time, in just a blink of an eye, we are already traveling through the thoughts, traveling through our past and present, trying to predict what the future will hold.
Looking at the past, 3 years have thought me so much, leaving me with a more patient, more independent outlook of how life should be. We stand only on our two feet, we hold ourselves up on our own and we fight through our own battles, whether we like it or not. As much as we're alone, the part where we learn and gain a knowledge or two, if from those surrounding us. I have always been the type to love my past. Regardless of how bitter and how painful the experience may have been, you'd be surprised to see how i always portray it with a smile on my face. I sometimes wished things would have been how it was, i sometimes hoped that things would get better and i'd sometimes pray for a more united, and better tomorrow.
However, nothing turned out as wanted, nothing turned out as planned. Thats life, very unpredictable. But have u realised, although what we want was never granted, what we got in return did teach us more than we expected. Its strange how a small issue of discussion, to a short conversation about the cutest guy on earth, could just make u realise what a true relationship with another being is all about. Relationships play a major role in our life. We can choose to ignore the way some people surrounding us are, and we can choose to really be affected by every little thing they do or say. I was once like that, trying to please every need of the people around me, trying to do my best to work things out so that we'd all move forward... but seriously, experience does show you great things and yes i did pay my price.
I think i was a rather easy going person. One can approach me anytime and just play and miggle with me when they needed company. And when they have their own share of fun, i may be dumped in the corner or totally forgotten, and could totally be ignored! I kinda got the hand of it, cause i knew all along, that this is life, and nothing we do can change what others do. I have always held to my principles, i only do what i think i should do, and my course of actions should not in anyway affect those surrounding me. I still hold to that today, and will hold it forever. But improvisation is important ;) if you know what i mean... :P
I wouldn't say that my ignorance or tolerance was used (well thats what some people kept telling me and drilling into my hear =.=) but i rather say that i chose to be that way, but i only wished i was less sensitive to the changes that occured. But oh well, life is short, and we meet so many people in just a blink of an eye, so all we have to do is cherish what we have, learn everything we can and keep our fingers crossed and hope, that the lesson learnt today will be helpful till the end...
But note that, regardless of how bad i may have made it sound, i have a handful of people whom i must say i love and care about, those who have made my course of living throughout this three years rather sweet and fulfilling! You know who you are, thanks a bunch ya! ;)
We are all human beings, we are not the same to everyone, and that always depends on the strength of our relationship and how motivated we are to sustain it. We are all subjected to our own opinions, our own prospects and course of actions, but at the end, every course of action will require some sort of thought. And during that course, we will realise whether our actions will affect the ones we care and love, ranging from family, friends and the society.
Besides that, i also learnt that hard work does pay off, if you put your heart and sole to the subject matter that is trying to be accomplished. With a good working brain and the endurance to face every little obstacle well, it will be possible for all of us to succeed. I told a friend once. Put urself in a position where u are surrounded by all the things u need to accomplish. Then think of the significance of you achieving all those dreams and goals. And you will be surprised to see how the flow goes, and finally you will achieve it all excellently. In my case, i think i should share. The drive that makes me work to my maximum level are my parents. Knowing that they are back home, working hard to provide me with the most condusive and efficient life, proves to me how bad they need us, their children to succeed. My mom, who calls me everyday, reminds me that, yes people have succeeded without education but very difficultly; success will come your way easily if u focus on your education and sacrifice. Sacrifice, is the one word she always tells me. I would complain, i dont have a social life. And she will say, social life is not time dependent, but your degree is. Dad, he's always inspiring. I remembered his last phone call, before viva: You have worked hard, the entire project was under your supervision. And yes the examiner may ask too many questions, but its all within your prospects. And even if u dont know, based on your presentation, he will have a clear picture in his mind, that you are capable of succeeding! Thanks mum and dad!
Its great when you have supportive people around you. I have a friend who always reminds me, that i am who i am, and if people really enjoyed and wanted my company, the last thing they would say or state during depressing and hard times, is change! No one is entitled to change the way you are, but if they truly enjoy your company and are being genuine in their relationship with you, then they will accept you the way you are, and never at anytime state any form of degrading statements.
Generally, in 3 years, i have learnt that the world is a mean place. The person who greets and smiles at you on the first day, could be the one who makes u feel really small and unsignificant on the next day. You might be surprised when i tell u this, that i am tearing as i write this statement, cause its so true, that at times i wished i never approached. I feel i have learnt to accept things they way they are, i have learnt to ignore and just act as if nothing really happened, and i know myself better now.
Some memories are sweet, some are excruciatingly painful and bitter,
But as times passes, its true time does heal a million things,
But memories and experiences never fade with time,
Whether or not we cross those similar paths again,
Everything was worth living for,
As Life is short and very eventful,
Its either your stay and experience all,
Or never choose to live at all!
Just a moment of truth, with laughters and smiles