Saturday, July 11, 2009


There is this urge and need to talk, to spill every little issue that is happening to me, to share my experience and pain with someone, and to gain advice and courage against this difficult challenge, the challenge of life. But as time goes, i realised that, i have no one to go to, no one to listen to my story, and no one to guide me through out this journey. Its an irony how things change in a split second, its funny how thoughts turn into criticisms, and its painful when fulfilled life falls to a lonely state.
I am lost now. I'm walking in a path with no signs, just lots of obstacles, shrubs, huge trees, wet soil, glaring sun... all alone. I turn to my left thinking that i'll find water to wash away my thirst, i look to the right, hoping to find a guide towards my dreamed destination, I try looking high up above, but the shine of the sun doesn't permit, and at the bottom of my feet, i see only ants, and insects, playing their role in life.
Never have i felt this lonely before. Never have i ever thought that I'd come to this situation. Never did i ever want to be like this. But this is it. A path with uncertainty. There i stand, wishing for a miracle, for a helping hand, and a voice that would console me. But i have found nothing... NOTHING!
Tears role down my face every day and night, hoping and praying for a better tomorrow. I am losing signs and guides that used to be there for me at one time. I did all that i could to cherish every one of them, but yet i am failing. Every step they take away from me, reminds me of the loneliness that is coming closer towards me. I scream out loud, "Don't move away!", but nobody listens. I hold their hands and pull them towards me, but they just slip away.... slip away and never come back.
My lost is huge. More that anyone can imagine. I lost hope, that once drove me to my current state; I lost courage, that showed me the essence of life; I lost endurance, that made me strong as how i seem; I lost my friends, whom once was there holding my back; I lost everything, that made me human.
I am drowning!
What should i do? Who will be there for me? Is this only a battle for me?
Just questions, without answers...

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