Saturday, December 29, 2007

L.O.V.E

Cheerful, Happy, Beautiful. These were the adjectives used by her friends every time they saw her. She would be so cheerful, till everyone starts questioning, what actually is going on in her life. She would share her happiness with everyone, until people called her mad. She would look her best, as if she was meeting the king, and that too made many jealous.

Friend 1: Wow you look so vibrant. Whats up?
She : Nothing much, but just love!
Friend 1: Love?
She : *Giggles*

She is the first child of a middle class family who thinks education is the key of success. She never pictured herself falling in love and all, because she knew, her main goal in life was to be successful, if not for herself, at least for her parents. She knew, it wasnt easy for her parents, raising up 2 children in such a big town. So all she did was to try fulfilling all her obligations.

But, what she never knew was that there is this little feeling in her heart, which cannot be controlled, as it strikes when the time is right. And that little feeling was love. She met him online, she thought it would be just another anonymous chat friend who would just make her night more eventful besides keeping her company. She did describe herself, hoping to catch his attention, but what she failed to realise was that she lied virtually every important detail of herself, and this was because she never knew that she would ever talk to this same guy again. But, as much as she loved the company, she loved the attention he gave her. So, they spent their days and nights, talking to each other, about their lives, and their pleasures.

As time passed, she fell in love with him. She would rush back exactly in time to have a short chat with him, to tell him her eventful schedules of the day, as well as to show him how much she loved him. She told him everything, every little detail about herself, so that he would accept her the way she was. She was worried, that someday he might be dissappointed with what she has to offer. The problem, or so called "problem" was that she never felt the love from a third party, especially from a man. He loved her so much, and she loved it, the feeling of being loved by someone.

She: Baby, you make me feel so complete
He : You complete my life too hun
She: I wonder what the future holds for us...
He : Trust me baby, i know, the future is bright for us both... just stay with me baby..
She: I will baby, for eternity... I love you!
He : I love u too.

Thats love. No word describes how great it feels, cause really, no one adjective can describe "LOVE" in a whole. The only way to understand it, is to feel it with that one person you love.

Dont be afraid to fall in love, cause once you're in it, its wonderful...

Love u lotz...

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

blogthings~

You Were Pretty Average This Year

You Were 55% Naughty, 45% Nice

You tried to be a good girl this year...
But as you know, being good isn't that fun!
If you're extra sweet, you may have enough time to get on that nice list.


You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One!

You like having a guy in your life, and overall, you prefer not to be single.
You won't go out with a guy out of desperation.. you rather be alone.
However, when you're single, you do tend to obsess a little over dating.
Because no matter how good your single life is, it's better with a great guy around.


Your Kissing Grade: A-

You are truly an amazing kisser. Your kisses are extraordinarily mind blowing.
Whether you're naturally a good kisser or not, you've taken the time learn how to be the best kisser possible.
Anyone would be lucky to get a kiss from you!


Start Hunting For That New Apartment

You two are ready to live together - and probably have been for a while
You're a perfect match, even if you don't agree on everything
What's important is compromise... a skill you and your guy have mastered
So head out to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It's time for your new life together!


Keep Him :-)

This guy's got marriage on the brain - and should propose soon...
That is, if you play your cards right. Keep doing what you're doing.
Marriage material guy doesn't like drama - or hot today, cold tomorrow relationships.
So keep it flowing peacefully, and you'll capture his heart.

How to make sure you're ready: Make sure that you love marriage minded guy because he's a fantastic catch - not because he's eager to walk down the aisle.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Beautiful love notez~

Here are some beautiful love notez, written by a man to the woman he loves...

Note 1

My beautiful baby girl, I am missing you terribly. It pains my heart not to be able to share everything in my life with you, but time and distance cheat us. It is only my love for you that keeps me going these days baby. Only that. Tho oceans place us far apart, and the constraints of daily life prevent us from being as close as I would like, I dwell in that hope, nay, that certainty, that I shall son have you in my arms to hold.
Oh baby, if you only knew how this poor heart of mine strains daily, stretched to its limits from holding back all this love. Tell me how, my darling, how I can show you the extent of my love for you... I will do anything to make you happy. My whole life is now a kaleidoscope of our memories, a mosaic of our dreams together; even tho' we have only known each other for a relatively brief time, I feel as if we had already spent many lifetimes together. Such is the impact you have made on me, my wife.
Please come to me soon. I crave you.
Love,
hubby

Note 2


Hello my darling wife, how have you been. I hope everything is well with you baby. Just wanted to tell you how much I love you, how pretty you appear to me in my dreams, how much my arms ache from not being able to hold you. If I were only the wind, so I could be always pressed against your face, touseling your hair. If I were only the water that bathes you, the bedsheets that cover you, the food you eat, the lipstick you use. So I could always be with you, never parted.

Your ever loving husband


Note 3


My loving wife. The day has been dreary and cold, more so without you. I sigh and breathe a heavy air, dense and unbreathable without your presence. I run our conversations over and over again in my mind, finding within them only temporary relief from my solitude.
My baby, I wonder how you have been doing. How those endeavours of yours progress. I know you have been hectic and busy, but I soon hope that you might find a little time within them to drop me a line or perhaps even log on a bit.
Anyways, I hope that everything is well.
Love, and have strength, for soon we shall be united,

your Prince.


Beautiful aint it? Thats love. Remember to always write to the person u love, and make it as original as u can, cause that potrays whats in the heart.

Love! Cause nothing feels as good as it.

Love ya!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

My presence~

I came into this world,
Not knowing what to expect and what the purpose was,
But i was aware, what is taught is what is meant to be practised,
And that was it, the basic essence of life..

But then, as i grew,
I realised that sometimes we have to think and react,
And sometimes this goes against our believes and practices,
What do we do?
We start comforting ourselves,
Thinking that our loved ones will understand,
Every little action we take and the reasons that back up the issue,
But, That is what we hope,
What do we do when they go against it?

I always thought i made u happy.
I always thought you were proud of me,
I always thought you were my source of encouragement,
I always thought you would give me a chance to prove my stand in this world,
I always thought some where in that little heart, you understood me..

But, No.
Fights after fights,
Arguments, misunderstandings,
Silent moments fill the room, and all i have now, is just guilt...
I'm sorry for not being the way u want me to be,
I'm sorry if i am such a big dissappointment,
I'm sorry for not being the perfect person to make u happy,
I'm sorry if i've failed in your test...

Cause honestly, this is all i can do...
But be happy that you have the world behind your back for support...
Be happy that people still love and care for you..
Be cheerful about enjoying every sweet bit of happiness..
And make sure you keep your loved ones close...

cause here i am standing alone,
wanting a shoulder to cry on,
wanting someone by my side,
to bring my spirits up,
so that i can stand up strong again...

Monday, December 17, 2007

Why Women Cry?

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are
you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she
told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom
just hugged him and said, "And you never
will."

Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all
his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When
God got on the phone, he asked, "God,
why do women cry so easily?"

God said:

"When I made the woman she had to be
special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to
carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure
childbirth and the rejection that many
times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to
keep going when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through
sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her
children under any and all
circumstances, even when her child has
hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry he! r
husband through his faults and fashioned
her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good
husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her
resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed.
This is hers exclusively to use whenever
it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty
of a woman is not in the clothes she
wears, the figure that she carries, or
the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in
her eyes, because that is the doorway to
her heart - the place where love resides."

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Trust?

The she stood by the window, thinking of the little happiness she's feeling deep inside her these past few days. She was happy, as she was loved. She felt how sweet and wonderful it was to fall in love. There she stood by the window, looking back at all her conversations with the man she loved. All he did was love her the way she was, and she would always go through over and over again the conversations they had together as it meant so much to her.


She: thanks for loving me this way...
He: ur special baby
She: u make me feel so happy
He: you make me feel special too for deserving ur love
She: my love is nothing compared to urs and thanks so much baby for loving me...
He: baby, ur love is everything to me
She: ur love is what is keeping me going
He: babes, I love you

And yes, they argued, on whose love is bigger. Their daily routine was as normal, but every 12 hours, they meet online, and chat for about 2-3 hours, telling each other how much love meant to them, planning a future together, and how much they can't live without each other. Wow, i know, sounds like a fairy tale or something!

As time passed, they realised, what love was about. Sounds so much like a fairy tale doesn't it, but the truth is that, they became one due to their differences. They were different in many ways, and many times, they got into arguments and misunderstandings, due to their differences. However, what this contributed to their relationship was stregth, as they grew much closer to one another. They always were aware of their differences. She is the eldest child in a middle class family which encourages children to love education, very religious and gives culture the most importance, has very good moral values and practices, very caring. He on the other hand is the youngest child of a well-to-be family, which also is religious, and promotes lots of loving deeds within the family, making them very loving people, always thinking of the well-being of all the people within the nucleus family as well as the people around them.

They grew much closer to each other, sharing each others future dreams to have a wonderful future, they spoke about their education, her dream of being a researcher and him being a successful engineer. They even talked about them being a couple, how they'd make their parents accept what they have between them. They even spoke about building a family together, and that kept them alive, to expect a wonderful life with each other. It was beautiful. They wrote each other little notes and that made them eagerly in love...


But what the guy didnt know is that, the gal never had any trust in him at the beginning. She never pictured herself in love, and she never expected herself to fall in deep. She said a few lies, and she thought it was normal. He did the same, he tested her as to how loyal she is. Finally, he did confess his mistakes and lies. But the gal didnt do that. She never thought things could work out, because she knew, her parents wouldnt approve of anything of that sort, as to her family, education is of great importance, and everything else comes in second. She played along, but what she failed to realise is that she loved him, she liked the way he treated her, the way he loved her, they way he understood her. She looked forward for every meeting, every online conversation, every little detail of the relationship. She was in love, she loved the feeling and she eventually opened herself up. She talked to him, told him everything abt herself, except for the little lies she said before, such as her name and other biodata details. She cried every night, thinking of how she could open up to him, but she couldnt, cause he kept saying how happy he was to see her online. She didnt want to hurt him, but she knew eventually she'll have to open up eventually.

She cries every night, worried that he might leave her for the lies she has said. She was bold, cause she knew,she can never keep the secrets any longer, as she feels like she's cheating him and that its against the trust they have in such a beautiful relationship. She finally told him, she confessed everything, telling him that she never meant to lie, but she never had faith in the relationship they had. But she confessed that now, she is madly in love with him, and that he is the key of her happiness. He stood there, speechless, with watery eyes, looking her directly in the eye.

He: How could you? How could u keep something like that away from me?
She: I'm so sorry baby. I never meant to keep it away from you. It was just that i
said that lie from the beginning,and i didnt know how to correct them, as i was
worried about losing you. But now i know, its important for me to tell you what
happened, so that i dont cheat you, or cheat this beautiful precious
relationship that we have between us.
He:So what do i do now? What should i do, you said u trust me, what happened to that?

All she did was she cried. She told him it was totally her fault and that she has no other way to help minimize the situation. She fell on his leg, asking for forgiveness, and all he did was walk away... and he's not come back ever since...

She is still waiting in anticipation, regresting every little mistake she made...

Trust! An important element in a relationship.

What is trust?
Trust is:

Letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.

Sharing your inner feelings and thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.

Placing confidence in others so that they will be supportive and reinforcing of you, even if you let down your "strong'' mask and show your weaknesses.

Assuming that others will not intentionally hurt or abuse you if you should make an error or a mistake.

The inner sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share secrets, knowing they are safe.

The sense that things are fine; that nothing can disrupt the bond between you and the other.

The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and maturing independently.

The glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.

Opening yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, concerns, and mistakes with the assurance that they will not ostracize you because of these things.

The act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.



Why do people have trouble developing trust in others?

People have trouble developing trust if they have:

Experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect.

Been chronically put down for the way they feel or for what they believe.

Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.

Had problem relationships in the past where they were belittled, misunderstood, or ignored.

Experienced the loss of a loved one through death. They can get so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves up to others, fearing they will be left alone again due to death, or, abandonment.

Experienced a hostile or bitter divorce, separation, or end of a relationship. They may be unable to believe anyone who opens up to them in a new, committed relationship.

Been reared in or have lived in an environment emotionally and/or physically unpredictable and volatile.

Experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of another. Even if the other finally recognizes and accepts the responsibility to change such behavior, the person fears that if they let their guard down, the pain and hurt will begin again.

Low self-esteem and cannot believe that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They have problems even trusting the positive, healthy, and reinforcing behavior of another who is sincere.

Experienced a great deal of non-provoked victimization in their lives. They are unwilling to trust people, situations, or institutions for fear of being victimized again.



What are some beliefs of people who have problems trusting?

I have been hurt too much in the past, and I refuse to be hurt again now or in the future!

People are out to get all they can from you, so avoid them to survive!

As soon as you let your guard down, you will be stepped on again!

No one is to be trusted!

You always get hurt by the ones you love!

I get no respect from anyone!

All men (or women) are dishonest and are never to be trusted!

Everyone is out to get me!

I am never successful in picking partners, so why try again!

As soon as you care and open up to someone, they will always leave you!

Marriage is the pits!

There is no such thing as a healthy relationship!

You can never let your guard down because all hell will break loose!

All reformations are short-lived!

If I give in and believe you have truly changed, relaxing my defenses, I am most certainly going to be hurt again once you backslide!

There is no such thing as change in behavior. It is only manipulation by others to get their way with you!

Everyone is out to get as much as they can out of you!

There is no such thing as a fair employer, generous company, or supportive work place!

It is better to live alone for the rest of my life than to risk being hurt as I was!

I will never let you know my true feelings again since, if I do open up, I'm afraid you will use them against me to hurt me!



What behavioral traits do people need in order to develop trust?

People need to develop the following behavior traits, attitudes, and beliefs in order to develop trust:

Hope in the goodness of mankind: Without such hope people can become emotionally stuck, reclusive, and isolated. Hope in goodness is a change based on the willingness to take a risk that all people are not evil, bad, or ill-willed.

Faith in the fairness of life: This faith in fairness is similar to the ``boomerang belief,'' that what you throw out to others will come back to you eventually in life. So if people are fair, honest, or nurturing they will eventually receive similar behavior aimed back at them. Having faith in fairness is an attitude that helps people be open to others and risk being vulnerable. They believe that the person who treats them negatively will eventually ``get it in the end!'' and be punished in someway later in this life or in the next.

Belief in a power greater than yourself: This is the acceptance of a spiritual power with greater strength, wisdom, and knowledge than you; one with a divine plan to include your experience, whatever you will encounter in life. Rather than believing that you are 100% in control of your destiny, belief in this spiritual power enables you to let go of over responsibility, guilt, and anger. This lets you accept God's will in your life and enables you to let go of your distrust and isolation from others. If God is in control of the universe, you can lighten your load and let God do some of the leading in your life. `"Let go and let God,'' can be your motto.

A healing environment: This is the creating of a trust bond with the significant others in your personal life where blaming, accusing, and acrimony do not exist. In the healing mode the participants actively use forgiveness, understanding, and healthy communication to resolve problems and issues. The participants are then willing to forget, to let go, and to release themselves of the past hurts, wounds, and pain, opening themselves to trust one another.

Reduction of a sense of competition: This reducing of competition, jealousy, and defensiveness with significant others in your life is a way to reduce the barriers between you and them. The lowering of these psychological barriers is essential to the movement toward development of mutual trust.

Self-disclosure of negative self-scripts: Your disclosing of your inability to feel good about yourself and your perceived lack of healthy self-esteem are essential in reducing miscommunication or misunderstanding between you and the significant others in your life. This self-disclosure reveals to the others your perspective on obstacles you believe you bring to relationships. This sheds the mask of self-defensiveness and allows the other to know you as you know yourself. It is easier to trust that which is real than that which is unreal or hidden.

Taking a risk to be open to others: This enables you to become a real person to others. It is an essential behavior in trust-building between two people because it is the establishing of the parameters of strengths and weaknesses on which you have to draw as the relationship develops.

Becoming vulnerable: This enables you to be hurt by others who know your weaknesses and strengths. This is an essential step in trust-building between people. It lays the cards on the table in a gamble that in such total self-revelation the others will accept you for who you really are rather than for who they want you to be. In order to get to full self-disclosure you must take the risk to be vulnerable to others. This is an important building block in trust development.

Letting go of fear: Fear restricts your actions with others. Letting go frees you of behavioral constraints that can immobilize your emotional development. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of caring, fear of success, fear of being hurt, fear of the unknown, and fear of intimacy are blocks to the development of trust relationships and can impede relationship growth if not given appropriate attention and remedial action.

Self-acceptance: Accepting who you are and what your potential is an important step in letting down your guard enough to develop a trusting relationship with others. If you are so insecure in your identity that you are unable to accept yourself first, how can you achieve the self-revelation necessary to develop trust? Self-acceptance through an active program of self-affirmation and self-love is a key to the development of trust.