Sunday, September 30, 2007

Worries, killing me bit by bit~

here i'm sitting again by the window, thinking about what has happened lately in my life, and what is about to happen. My grandmother(paternal) has been diagnosed with 2nd stage skin cancer and she will be undergoing a surgery to remove the cancer cells today at 7.30am. Its 3am and i can barely get any sleep. I'm so worried about what is going to happen. I've not seen her eversince the cancer was diagnosed, and now she's aalready getting ready for surgery, and i'm still here, have not seen her yet. All i'm doing is thinking blankly about what is about to happen. I'm worried, i cant deny it. I'm a human being, and i guess its normal. I'm worried, but at the same time i'm feeling optimistic, hoping for the best to happen. I hope everything goes well! I hope everything goes well. Oh God, please, i'm hoping for the best to happen, i hope she recovers and i hope to see her soon. I hope this small request will be fulfilled. I also hope my family will be doing well in this situation too.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

he i sit, thinking more and more about what will happen this week, as i am officially going to have a very eventful week. whether i'm going to ike it or not is secondary, the question now is whether i can face everything all at once. strength is something we think we have before we face something, but you just dont know how much it will kill you as you face every step. Events of the week:

Sunday: Biochemistry Lab Report, Gotta study for Biochem Lab Finals. Entrepreneur Assignment.

Monday: Pass up Biochemistry Lab Report, Genetics Lab Class, Entrepreneur assignment.

Tuesday: Biochemistry Lab Exam

Thursday, September 13, 2007

the essence of my life...

going on a flash back. That is what has been going on in my mind these past few days. Thinking a lot about how things used to be, how perfect i thought my life was. Never have i ever thought in my entire life, i'd be one day sitting down next to the window thinking of the past, and to cherish all those good times, hahaha... really funny. Sometimes i wonder if i actually appreciated what i had. Never have i felt so much regret in my life, but now, i am. Sitting here wondering every bit of my life.

All i remember was the laughter, the love we had between us. I dont know what it was, but the chemisry was good. Thinking over and over again about you and all those that made my life so eventful. Thank you. Cause all those happiness i had, all the feeling i felt, all the beautiful memories, all that you've all given me, is what drives me these days. Never have i felt so much pain in my life. Never have i cried this much before. All i do is regret, why didnt i cherish those great moments i had earlier in my life.

Its not just the people, but am trying to adapt to the environment. I miss what i used to have. I miss what we had. I am missing everyone, and every bit of happiness i used to have. I miss all of it! Now i wish for it all to come back.

Will it?

just hopes....just hopes and dreamzz....

Sunday, September 09, 2007

when everything seems so wrong...

Life. Something i often write about in my blog. Something i always tend to discuss about with friends and family. Its an evolving thing, An evolving circle. Nothing stays the same. Everything changes in a blink of an eye. And that is when u realise who actually is telling the truth, and who lies. Things never seem to stay the same. As we grow, we tend to learn more and more about the career we've chosen to run, the people we've chosen to love, and the life we've chosen to live. We make choices, but rarely we get to decide, whether or not it is for the best, or its just another step of life. We choose, considering the best and worst options we have in life, and we decide to take the road that matches the situation and mood. We pass through that road, shockingly we find obstacles, that we sometimes think can be avoided. But being strong, optimistic and determined human beings, we tend to put out head up and go with the flow. Yes, we do look back and wonder what if we took the other road, the road not taken? What would life be on the other side? Curiosity kills the cat, but the hurdles we pass through in a ourney, makes us stronger and allows us to complete it. Thats what we do, Thats what we are supposed to do.

Realising my obligations and responsibilities, i do act according to situations, i do analyze and think it out before i take any actions, as it could not only affect me, but affect the people i love. But sometimes, i seem to need that little guidance and support. I need to have that extra push... which i seem to lack when i am all alone. The people who are here on earth to give me support are just not by my side. i NEED to learn how to manage this. I have to grow up. But how? Is it another trial and error process?

just questions....

But, i'm finding for answers.....