Sunday, January 28, 2007

am i good enough for u?

whether we realise it or not, we're actually living under this qoute "do you think you're good enough" i know..it seems more like a question than a quote. what i'm trying to say is that now we live to please others..

am i pretty enough? am i photogenic enough? am i your type? should i wear this or that?

its okay to consult a third party once in a while..no harm..but living by what they say..there's where the problem starts!

have i been hurt? yea i have. people comment about me every single day...at home, outside...everywhere! sometimes, verbally and sometimes through peoples actions...it does make me wonder, whether i am good enough for the society..they comment on my looks, grades, behaviour, acts, well...lets just say everything. the worst is when people show dissatisfaction through their actions. man, thats when u've got loads of things just running in ur head, and thats when ur self-esteem level drops drastically! have been there!! trust me... that moment..man..its like ur rejected...ur like the unwanted member of this society..its like ur just not good enough..and u start feeling small! hahhaha...i'm speaking from experience! its bad..once i even felt like leaving..as in leaving this situation...like migrating..lol...sadly had no money! actually, i've realised that no matter where you go...there will always be these "special" group of people who just cant get over commenting you! so live with it!okay. we have to live beyond peoples expectations.. we have to live beyond all the comments and criticism..because we are who we are!


Girl: Hey
Boy: What?
Girl: I really like you. And I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Boy: Ok...
Girl: What do you mean "ok"?
Boy: I don't like you like that...
Girl: Why not?
Boy: I can't tell you... maybe another time...

From then on, the girl kept askingthe boy "Why not?" whenever she sawhim, and he kept answering the sameanswer of "I'll tell you later."Finally the girl got fed up.

Girl: I'm tired of this! Tell me why you don't like me!
Boy: Do you really wanna know why?
Girl: Yes!
Boy: It's because you're uglier thanANYTHING!What's the point of going out withsomeone whenthey're not pretty?!
Girl: But... I...
Boy: Just shut up and leave me alone!

The boy leaves and the girl is sittingthere alone,crying her heart out. Then her cellphonerings.

Girl: Hello?
Mom: Sweetheart? I want you to gohome, ok? I'llbe home from work in a few hours.
Girl: Alright Mom.
Mom: I love you.
Girl: I love you too, Mom.
Mom: Bye Bye.
Girl: Bye

The girl heads home and once she gotthere, shewent in the bathroom and looked atherself in themirror.Girl: I'm not pretty enough...She set to work, knowing fully wellwhatshe wasgoing to do. 2 hours later, her Momcamehomeand heard the bath water running. Shewentupstairs to find the hallway floodedsoshe knockedon the door

Mom: Honey? Are you alright?

She opened the door and was shockedatthe site.The bath was overflowing onto thefloor,and thewater was tinted red. She walkedover tosee whatwas inside and screamed. There, herlittle girl waslying with cuts all over her face andwrists. HerMom backed away and was going to runto call thepolice when something caught her eye.On themirror, am I pretty enough now?


No one deserves to be told that bysomeone theylove.A person's appearance doesn't count.What counts is their heart inside of them and their personality.No one wants to be told they're notgood enough...

so people...stay the way u r..cause..you are beautiful! and no idiot can deny that!


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

what does God want to see?

What does God want to see?

What does God want us to do?

Is he watching us?

Why are the so many questions without answers?

I know, at this moment you might think that i'm questioning the existence of God. Well actually i'm not. what i'd like to know is what he expects from me? what does he want me to do? it all comes back to this:

LIFE!
I bet we're all aware of the saying"live life to the fullest", but question: what's life's limit?

well ok, i'll get to the point. we're living today, learning from the past and thinking about tomorrow;

Question: but what are we trying to achieve?
Answer:okay...there is education, career, family,etc

Question:But what is all this for?
Answer: to achieve a fulfilling life

Question:What is a fulfilling life?
Answer: a life without worry, a smooth mode of living; with "MONEY"

(recently i read an article...just a random one..it was stated that about 90% married couples(love marriage) end up with a divorce, due to financial problems)

you see what has happened to our society. everyone has this thing stuck in their head. MONEY! SHOW ME THE MONEY!

now, tell me, is life all about money? what happened to love, friendship and the virtues that we hold till today? doesnt that matter?

seriously...i dont know! i dont know what matters these days. i'm losing things that i never knew i could..i'm learning things that i never knew...i'm experiencing things...things that sometimes brings a smile on my face...and sometimes kills me deep inside. so, when you ask me what is life about, i really dont know!

things have not been great lately. i'm smiling, and laughing like never before, hiding my sorrow and weakness, so that no bloody human being could ever hurt me anymore. Am i doing the right thing? i dont know! i'm losing the people that i trusted..i'm losing my temper...i'm losing my heart and all the feelings i ever had for the world, and for the people i love. But i must say, i am no weakling, as i've not lost my strength and will, to go on with life, and i'm really happy about that. i am still very grateful, as God has given me a group of special people, that i still trust and care for till today! although this group is getting smaller day by day.. i must say its a blessing, as now i know who my true and loyal mates are!

Monday, January 08, 2007

just in the moment~


I WANT CHOCOLATE CAKE! hahahha...i really miss my aunts chocolate cake..she makes the best chocolate icing...man...it just melts in your mouth! every bite feels so wonderful..hahahha... reminds me of what kasthuri used to say..eating chocolate is like making love(her favourite line)..."like as though she has made love b4" lol...we used to tease her(especially tommy and i)...askin her whether or not she was a virgin after she says that favourite line of hers. wow...those were the days... we waited so much for this moment.. to be free, to enjoy life, waiting for school to end...without even realising that it would/could cause a great amount of loss! yea i know i should be happy and all...but i'm missing school life...now everyone is doing their own thing...i barely even know wat they're doing...sometimes i try keeping in touch...but...it takes 2 hands to clap doesnt it? haih... its so sad...u know they always say...there are many types of friends: friends that u keep for the rest of ur life, friends that only appear for a reason, and friends that stay with us based on interests... i never actually classified my friends at all...but i must say...i hope they're not friends that only come for a reason...hmm... i know i've started crapping again..LURVE CHOCOLATE CAKE!! hahahha...


Saturday, January 06, 2007

have been thinkin~

hey...happy new year! anywayzz...today was a pretty hectic day,... went for the star education fair...at the KL convention centre...sumwhere near klcc...was good la...since i am in the science stream...i went for medicine, biotech, biomed, biochem, pharmacy and all...was good la...had to keep my options open...knowing that the results isnt gonna be dat good...so...i had to look at the best and the worst cases...lol..yea...talk abt being prepared...i was like thinkin...if i flunc this...i might as well join bakering colleges...at least i'll learn how to cook...hahahha... well...lately i've not been myself...lots of things goin on in my rather small skull...lol..not that small la..yea...its so hard to live...education, life, love, haih...sumtimes it makes me crazy!!!

education- virtually worried abt results...and my future...man...seema like i dont stand a chnace at all in this world...all they want are acceptionally good students...and the sad part is they never ever will take a second to consider the "normal" or average students... haih... finding a place in this world is one...being successful is another...haih...so hard.

life- thinkin of this journey...always wanted a smooth journey...i know life is never a smooth journey...but u noe...i just want a life close to perfect...hahahha...u noe today...i went for the education fair with my fren and her mom...and it was fun i must say..her mom virtually was tellin us to do sumthin other than medicine...here's wat she said:

if you're going to do medicine... it takes 5 yrs to get ur mbbs...then another 3-5 yrs to specialise...then another 5 yrs under the government which u noe isnt going to be fun as they will send u to some ulu place...then by the time u wanna establish urself...u'll be 35? when r u going to settle down?i have a doctor friend...he got married to a doctor...he said his life sux...he barely sees his wife...(man...dont we noe why he misses his wife:P)

lol...i love wat she said...hahahhaha...its so cute...its nice to hear an adult talk...especially a woman...man they cant wait for their daughters to settle down...lol

love-well okay...this doesnt have anythin to do wif me la...just that it seems like ppl are now in a lovey dovey mood la...its good i guess...but then again there are some still wondering why they ever fell in love...i guess thats the upz and downs of life...wonder when will i give in to all this feelings...just restraining myself la...sumtimes deep inside me...i feel like i need sumone to lean on for support...someone to guide me thru every lil thing that i'm goin thru...but then the pain and sorrow that my frens go thru just makes me feel like i should forget it...haih...

lol...i'm just crappin la...ok ppl have fun reading this crap~