Saturday, October 29, 2005

~mixed-emotionsz~

at the moment...i dunno what am i feeling...it seems like...there's sadness...a lil happiness...excitement...frustration....emptiness...i feel alone...i feel like i'm ignored....i am feeling weird~ lol...sounds so funny eh? but its true...i dont know...which feeling to attend to first...its so confusing....ok...lets start...today...hmm...the mornin was ok...as usual..was rushing the whole mornin...selvi said she wasnt comin 2 skool and all....well...reached skool at abt 7.15...then...was talkin 2 ashweni and vicky...then...lined up and all...was talkin to kasthuri abt deepavali and all....tellin her how excited i am abt it(cant wait 4 da ang pau part :P)...hahahahha...yea...then we had chem...THREE PERIODS!!LOL....hahahhaha...trust me...3 periods of chem is a lil too much...hahahha...especially when we're forced 2 watch dat weird cd....lol...couldnt pay attention...so...i decided 2 complete maths hw...ok...then after that was PA....that was when we all got to know abt THE LIST! hahahha....THE LIST...refers to the list of names.. of students who will b going to science one...well...basically they're streaming us...i ran down...lol...wif ashweni...to check the list...well...we're both going to science one! for a moment...i felt satisfied...coz...my hard work did pay off...then suddenly it striked my mind...i am gonna leave science 3! oh my god! i love science 3...there isnt another class like sc 3...we rock! haih...ashweni felt the same....we were pretty sceptical at first...but then we realised...the only way 2 actually progress academically is by having great competition around us,...when there's competition...we will work harder! but u noe...there is still a part of me that wants to stay in sc 3...haih...sc 3 is breaking up! so sad ha? tell me abt it! haih...well dat was the hot news in skool la...haih...i am so gonna miss sc 3...to all those who r gonna stay in sc 3...gonna miss u guys~...and to those goin 2 sc 1...have fun in ur new class! and to the teachers....(although i am pretty sure they never read this blog :P)...thanks so much for ur guidance! thank god my bio teacher is still gonna mark my project and all...thank god 4 dat! she's a great teacher la...all my teachers r great! haih...so gonna miss them...haih...i guess in life...these things are normal...we have 2 go thru all these...in order to b a strong human being...we have to fight against all odds! ahahahaha...weird man~ just weird...i cant believe...i'll b joinin sc 1 from the 9/11/05...i hope they change it man! hmm...well i gtg now...gotta study...got chem test tomolo(tuition) :'( haih! byeeeeeeeee

Monday, October 24, 2005

my fav pixxxxx

swe3t swe3t galzzzzzzz>>>>Krisha~pavesha~paveena~
my cutie pies~~~PaV33Na*~*PaV3ShA*~*NaRaIn*~*

things that cant b explained...

well...was on the phone wif sumone....sumone i thought was really dear to me...sumone who to me...was one of the greatest human beings...brought down 2 earth..sadly this person...changed! i have no idea how this happened...it seems like he is drifting away 4m me...moving further away 4m me...leaving me behind...he doesnt seem to respect me anymore...he doesnt seem to pay attention when i'm talking...the best of all...he has started cursing me...he slammed the phone down when i was talking to him...slammed it so hard...that it broke my heart! this person...who i am talkin abt isnt a boyfriend or even a friend...he is a family member...a person...who i love...and really care abt...a person...who i always trusted...man! its sick...its so sad...to c that person...just leave u like that...mayb he has been influenced by his frens...or mayb his cousins...he was here...at my place...2 weeks ago...he wasnt really close to me though...like how he was ...a year ago...when i was at his place...well...its ok...its time to move on....but all i'd like to say is that i'm hurt now...i feel sad abt this incident...and really hope that it was just a mistake...man...i wish it was a dream...i'm pinchin my self...and it hurts! ...i realise that its reality...it really happened...and...i know that this incident...will forever stay in my mind...till the day i die! i feel like crying...i feel like forgetting wat happened....but sadly i cant...i cant control myself any longer....it hurts so badly inside....note: if it was my mistake...if i had said sumthin that i shouldnt have said...i'm sorry! i never meant to do it! the situation went out of control...and i hope...u will forgive me... :'(
*dedicated to you~*

~sumtimes...the ppl closest to you...the ppl that u thought...understood u the most...could b the ones...breaking ur heart~

>MuNna<



Saturday, October 22, 2005

crying silently~

well...lately it seems like ur moving away 4m me...it seems like u r not spending time with me anymore....it seems like...ur drifting away 4m me...it seems like u've forgotten all the great times we had together....it seems like...u dont like me anymore...u dont like seeing me...u dont like talkin to me....u dont enjoy hanging out with me anymore....is there sumthin wrong with me? am i the cause of all this? if its me...pls tell me...thats the best thing u can do 4 me~right now...i'm thinking of the past...those great times we had together...those sweet memories...the great times we had together......man...it ended so fast! if only i could turn back time...and analyse...every mistake dat i did,...every wrong decision...every wrong step...that caused this problem...i know its me...i am always the cause of every problem....haih...wat am i supposed 2 do abt it...i guess its just fate! i might have been a little unfriendly at times...i might have ignored you....i might have not even taken a step to look at u...when u passed my way...i might have taken u for granted...i might have used u for the wrong reasons...i might have been rude...i might have said things that i shouldnt say.....but honestly,....its a mistake...a huge mistake...well...theres no point ....cryin over spilt milk... just wanna tell u...dat ur special to me...so special...i cant imagine a life without you.....a life...without a friend like you...
*dedicated to all my frens*

~if one day...i'm gone and failed to say goodbye, Remember...that i'll never fail to say...THANK YOU...coz i've got the chance to know you~

>MuNnA<

ps: try the grudge test: click the title above

Saturday, October 15, 2005

hmmm......

hey~ u noe wat...lately i've been feeling really unsecure...i'm doubting my self...i'm doubting every action that i take...or plan to take...its weird...its disturbing! i feel so weird...the ppl around me...are acting really weird....sumtimes...it feels like...my presence on earth is being ignored! i feel like...sumtimes...even the ppl closest to my heart...the ppl whom i really care for...are all goin against me...its like as though...i am making huge mistakes in life....mistakes that i shouldnt make...at this stage of life....sumtimes...i feel so alone...wished i could spill everything out...but...sadly i cant...that is just me...wow...its seems like i'm depressed...yea...i guess thats the word! i am going thru depression! haih...sumtimes...it feels like giving up....but...i cant! i am still in the race...the race of life! the only choice i have...is...to complete the race...i cant give up...i cannot turn back either! u realise sumthin...when were happy...and enjoying our life...we forget all our worries...all the sadness in our heart...all the depession we went thru...but when we get depressed....all the past comes back to us...we tend to remember every inch of it...every memory...every sad thing...that has happened to us...and it all attacks us at once...causing severe pain...wow! it hurts man...*ouch* haih...i know this wont last long...i'll get over it.....but...it seems like...i cannot handle it...if only crying could help~well...i know...the only thing that i can do now...is try to think positive abt everything! i just gotta take this as one obstacle...an obstacle that i have to go thru...in order 2 be a stronger person!hmmm...i can do it!i can overcome this thing...that i'm goin thru!actually.... i really hope so..........

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

trust?

wat does it mean ar? the word trust...based on the oxford advanced leaners dictionary...trust means honest...sincere...well today i learnt a lot abt trust...how important it is to not break ppls trust...the trust they have on u....haih...i made a mistake today...my fren trusted me with sumthing...and i think...i kinda broke her trust...by tellin it 2 sumone else...she doesnt noe abt it though....but it makes me feel so guilty...i feel like i should tell her...wat i've done...and beg for forgiveness...but one part of me says that...i shouldnt say a word 2 her...i should just ignore everything...like as though it never happened...but...its bad...we're really good frens...she's important to me...she supports me...she taught me things that i never knew....she believes in me...and she trusts me...sadly...i broke that trust! if i ignore....some day...sooner or later...she might get 2 noe it....but there is a chance...that she might not! i am worried...if i tell her...the mistake dat i've done...she might totally lose trust on me...she might still b frens with me and all...but...but...i doubt it will b the same~ i know...when ppl get upset and all...they kinda like move away 4m u...hmm...but...if i really respect the friendship btw us...i think i should tell her...i am a big friendship freak....i'll do anything for friendship...but that doesnt mean i'm everybody's fren...all i'm trying 2 say is that i care a lot for the ppl i accept as frens....ppl who i think are great 2 b kept as frens...haih....well....in abt 9 hrs time..iill b seein her in skool...i think i should tell her....i dont know whether i'm taking this thing 2 seriously or not...but yea...u noe me...i take everything seriously...haih...thats just me~ cant change that~ basically...i've learnt a great lesson 2day la...haih...must seriously make sure it wont repeat again~