Thursday, April 14, 2005

i feel broken...broken into pieces....

broken...that explains wat i;m feeling right now.....i dont noe wat i did wrong....i worked for it...yet they think i still dont deserve it...deserve this thing dat i had so much hope on.....i worked hard....and tried my very best,,,why cant they understand this!!!i am broken....today i checked...the net...abt my JPA scholarship...and guess wat...i didnt make it!!! i am a fool!!! i thinks my results isnt enough!!! i feel so useless!!! this is only the interview part...and guess wat...i didnt even qualify till dat stage!!! i thought my results....could bring me sum luck...but i guess luck never always falls on ur side!!! it hurts me inside!!! i didnt get my matriks...and now JPA TOO!!! haih....i feel like cryin!!! cryin all the pain in my heart out!!! cheh....i didnt noe it is so hard for the government to give me this!!! damn...i feel so useless....thank GOD....although i was sad...and almost lost hope....i still had the guts...and will to hang on!!! man....sumtimes i wonder...why everything is so unfair in this country!!! i have no idea...is it coz of my skin colour...dat i didnt get this scholarship??? or is it coz i am stupid??? or is it coz i am not good enough for this country??? haih!!! i guess this things happen....nuthin is fair in life!!!haih....luckily...i have got supportive parents by my side....they r actually willing to appeal....honestly....i have lost hope....i am not gonna wait for the government!!! man...i care a damn abt this government!!! i have decided....i am goin to continue studyin...i'll apply for a loan....i'll try my very best to do well....and i will try 2 prove 2 the government...that i am good enough!!! good enough for everythin!!! who am i kidding....i bet they dun care....haih....well...all i noe...is i jus gotta do well...make my parents happy!!! and be successful!!! dats all i want!!! i noe i can...but seriously...i feel like cryin now...cryin all the pain...OUT!!!

1 comment:

  1. Hey sis,

    Sometimes life can be unfair 2 us,but we must always pull thorugh and go on,believe in urself and do ur very best.And ur not stupit at all!!! sometimes its just hard 2 get in all this.Ur a smart,nice and sweet person gurl.am so glad 2 know ya.Never give up and ur'll be alrite!!

    ~XoXo~
    EzReEnA

    ReplyDelete