Wednesday, March 23, 2005

hmm....is this why i feel so bad?

well....sumthin happened earlier today...sumthin dat i never thought would happen...jus happened....i really think it was totally my fault.....i was suddenly feeling so angry...angry towards everyone...my family....the malaysian government....everythin...and i guess in such a mixed feeling......i might have showed it to u.....i never meant it that way....coz afta i came back 2 my senses....i realised i made a stupid mistake......hmm....u noe wat....i guess mayb i am jus not a good friend afta all....u noe wat...sumtimes things happen without u realising...especially mistakes......it happens when u are blur...when u least realise it would turn ugly....hmm....i never knew the 9 years of friendship we had...could jus feel so shaky afta one stupid incident....an incident that could have been avoided....an incident dat made me feel so guilty...made me feel like the bad person....made me feel like the person who messed it all up....a person...anyone wouldnt wanna have as a fren...:'( i think i failed....i failed...in being a good advisor...being a good pal....being a good listener...i failed to give u comfort when u were in great need.....basically i failed as a friend...i am a failure when it comes to friendship....all i noe is that if we even get back 2gether...our friendship will never b like how it used 2 be....never be as sweet as how it used to be.....u noe wat....our friendship was sweeter when we were communicatin thru letters....i guess internet has it's pros and cons 2....well....all i noe now is dat i have lost a very nice friend....a friend who spend almost 9 years wif me....a friend who cared a lot for me.....sadly...my mistake made our friendship end up like this....i thought i was a patient person....when it comes 2 dealing with my frens....i jus dunno wat made me lose it...haih....i guess....it was my anger....haih,....well...i am sorry....i noe it's impossible 4 u to look at this blog....but yeah...i am so sorry....really sorry!!!! i wish i could turn back time....but i cant....oh well...i regret...and i hope everythin will jus b like normal again...i hope it will....after all that i have done....this reminds me abt the simple plan song.....i'm sorry i can't b perfect!!! hmmm.....well...i am not perfect...and i will never b....well...all i can do now....is sit down and hope 4 the best to happen....hopefully it will b back 2 normal soon!!!

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