Friday, February 25, 2005

first time!!!

hey!! wow...never knew i would finally blog...hehehheh...my pet sis did it...i had so many things in my mind...so i thought this is da only way 4 me to express it all out...haih...my life seems so screwed up...i dunno wat is happenin...everythin seems so different nowadays...nuthin seems the same...i guess dats life...it can never stay the same...it changes with time...but why...why is it...dat i'm only startin to realise it now...hmm...well i guess i never really sat down and thought abt my life...haih...i always thought my life was very close to perfect....i mean...i had everythin...lovin and supportive parents....an annoyin bro...who is kinda cute at times...hehehhe...pet bro's and sis...cool and really caring frens....cuzins who really cared a lot 4 me...granny...who is always there....to give me comfort when i was in great need....wow!!! dat was perfect 4 me...!!! but now....although i still have my family, cuzins, frens...my heart asks 4 more....but i just don't noe...wat it is....! it's hard!!! really hard!!! haih...mayb it's just tension....coz spm results is comin out soon...haih...i dun get it...no matter how well u do 4 upsr or pmr...or even in skool....it's useless...coz it all comes back to SPM!!!...and next will b college life....i am so not ready 4 dat...hmm...but i just gotta face it...haih....i have no idea...wat to do...i have cried enough....too much tear drops....haih...sumtimes....behind every smile...there is tonnes of sadness...just waitin to crush us....crush us into small pieces...wow!!! i can't imagine...how much damage it could cause...but...i have yet to find...the real cause...behind every sadness....dat i carry in me....well...thereis nuthin a gurl could do....we only can cry....that is our only weapon....only weapon...for us to shed all our sadness away....and make us stronger...hmm...i guess this is life....a messy life!!!!

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