Friday, December 30, 2005

2 days till new yr~

wow...time is pasing so fast ar...crazee rite...haih...gotta fight for time nowadays....oh well...new yrs comin...i feel like i havent really enjoy 2005 yet...lol...oh well...its just impossible 2 turn back time...lol...ok...back to my life...hmm...yesterday i had loads of fun...my lil cuzins came over...we went to the park...BUKIT KIARA PARK...lol...a great park...love the hanging bridge...paveena and pavesha freaked out on the bridge,....man...shud have seen their faces man...lol...forgot 2 get a pix of them freakin out...lol...but took sum nice pix of them...and my other cuzins...:)

top: suresh and pavithran, 2nd row 4m left: sharanya, mum, yashwin, cheriamma; bottom: pavesha and paveena




.......................from left: sharanya, paveena and pavesha....................

lol...cute gals...u noe wat...many ppl think its lame to spend so much time wif ur cuzins and all...but seriously ppl....u never realise how much u mean in the lives of these young kids...until u actually spend time wif them...coz they actually wanna b like u...they wanna b wif u...for the rest of their lives.....they respect u...and would do anythin to not lose u...so...think twice k...when ur cuzin asks u 2 play wif him/her.....lol...lame advice eh? but seriously its true la...lol...okies...c ya~

oh yeah....happy new yr ppl!!



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Have a Happy New Year!


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byebye!!

Monday, December 12, 2005

hmm...its been a while~



well...just came back 4m seremban....no...actually 4m mantin...lol...a place really near to seremban...lol...ok...its my aunts place....was there 4 abt 3 days....b4 that i was at an9other aunts hse...lol...enjoyed a whole week...hahahhaha...dats wat holidays are 4 ha? ok...hmm...yea...i've got a new pet cat...her name is half-face...lol...cute name ar...dats coz...part of her face is orange in colour,....and the other half is brown in colour...brownish black...cute fellar la...lol...hmm...yea...life is okla...normal...and yea...i've still got loads of work 2 do...haih...must complete everything la...lol...but...i'm just 2 lazy...hmm...other than dat...nuthin much was goin on in my life...hehehhe...i think...i had loads of fun wif my cuzins...hehehhe...i know they're small gals and all...but seriously...they r really cool ...hahahha...made me act like a kid 2 :P

paveena...finish KUMON d? lol...she's so pretty ha? :P



lol....just woke up ar?? :P from left: pavesha and paveena~

hahahahha....more pix...coming soon~

okies...gtg now...must try gettin sum coole dance moves...gonna make my cuzins dance...for this party we're having on the 25th~ catch ya soon

sharu~

Friday, November 25, 2005

we will miss u~

~IN THE LOVING MEMORY OF PUSSY~
~MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE~

>*>*>November 1999 to November 2005*<*<*<*
well...yea...she left us...we were sad.....actually we are still sad....but....thats life ha? we saw her test results yesterday...she was in a serious state...and there was no chance to safe her...as her state was becoming from bad to worst~her liver was totally damaged....and according to the doctor...he cant do anything~ well....then we decided...we'll just put it to sleep to avoid it from going thru further suffering....we burried her yesterday...in my garden...at around 6 pm...my brother decorated her grave...it was so cute~ we all cried...we had our moments....it was a pretty tensed moment...but later that day...we realised....it was the best we could do 4 her...we were also relieved...i mean...at least now we know...our cat is no longer suffering...and she's now in a much better place...she has left many sweet memories behind....sweet memories...that brings a smile to our face and lots of laughter~ its a pitty...such a sweet living thing...had to leave us so soon~ everything happens for a reason.....we know...and we realise...that pussy will not b here by our side physically....but she will forever live in our hearts~ we miss you pussy and we love you very much~

Myspace Graphics, MySpace Glitter Graphics, MySpace Glitters, MySpace Goodies, Myspace Codes at www.MyGlitterSpace.com

sharu

Monday, November 21, 2005

if she goes...it just means dat...she's leaving for a better place...

yea....if my cat goes...its for the better! i'm ok today...still worried over my cat....but i've taken it all in my strike....i know...its all in the hands of god! he controls everything....and as a human being on earth...i must realise that...death is part of life~ but i am still hoping that she'll recover....i know she will....but a part of me doesnt want to c it suffer...as for now...my cat is stable...she's not eating...she's on drips....according to the doctors assistant...she's in a critical state...but she's stable...however...if she vomits...it will just make things worst...thank god...till now...everything seems ok...she's not responding though...haih...i guess this is life ha? well....abt the last post...sorry! i really broke into tears yesterday when i found out that she's really sick and all...wat am i supposed 2 do...all i could think of is just cry! i know...to some ppl...this may sound really weird...like as though i;m sum sort of paranoid...but seriously...i love this cat....she's gone thru a lot wif me...as for now...i'm just praying and hoping for the best....hopefully she'll b fine...her test results will only b out tomolo...hopefully its good news...if she's recovering...then she'll b given treatment...till she recovers 100%....if she cant b saved...then...we will put her 2 sleep...kinda sad ha? mum said we shud put it to sleep...coz...she'll b suffering...if she's just left like that...i'm ready...ready to face watever thats gonna come my way....but i'm gonna say this again...i am really hoping...and praying hard...for her to recover~ haih...it hurts to c the pet u love...sleeping helplessly in the vet... its painful~ trust me...i've seen 2 cats in such a suffering state b4....haih...my eyes are tearing up...ok...i realise i'm not that strong afterall...haih...i guess...i'll stop for now...~

Sunday, November 20, 2005

my cat~

this is my cute cat. its name is pussy~

one day...determines all~

ok...my cat has been sick since 2 weeks ago...took her to the vet last saturday....the doctor said...it was just fever...gave her medicine and all...my mum tried force feeding the medicine and all....for abt 3 to 4 days...then she couldnt ...coz...the cat didnt wanna take it...everytime she took it...she vomits it all out...so...this week...she completely stopped eating...all she did was drink a lil bit of water....today...when we took her to the vet , the doctor said that....that...that...she's suffering...from sum sickness la...due to poisoning.... for a moment...there was pin drop silence...then...the doctor continued...he said there was only 2 options...coz...this sickness has affected her liver....option no 1: put her to sleep........when we heard this...we were shocked....the cat has only been with us for abt 5-6 yrs....and she's only abt 6-7 yrs old! i saw...tears in my dad's eye....he loved my cat....it wasnt only his pet....it became his daughter! mum was strong...she controlled herself....she was prepared for the worst....i was speechless....i couldnt say a thing...all i was doing at that time...was...lookin at the cat...the cat seemed like it knew...wat was comin its way~ my brother was strong 2...but i know...deep down inside...he's crying too...coz...this cat was brought home by him! he found the cat...! ok...the other option was to put my cat on drips....and have her blood tested....to c how serious the virus has attacked her liver....because... according to the doctor....there is a chance for it to survive. as soon as he said that...my dad said...put it on drips~ for a moment...everyone felt relieved! yea....coz...were really gonna try our very best to save this cat....this family member of ours~ even the vet assistant felt relieved coz....she likes animals...and she seriously thinks we shud save this cat! haih....i know this may sound ridiculous...but i am being honest,...i'm crying! i'm crying....i'm worried...i might lose this cat...a family member of mine~ i know...i can find another pet...well i know i've got substitutes...but...nuthing can b as cute and as special as this cat! all i'm begging for at this moment....is ...my cat must recover! it has to come back....this house...seems so gloomy..without it! haih...well now...my cat is at the vet (drips)..the results will b out tomolo...that will determine...whether the cat will survive or not~if the results say that she can be saved...then we will continue with the procedure and all....if the results are negative...then tomolo...we will put it to sleep~i really hope it will come back~ come back...to this home...where it belongs~

Monday, November 14, 2005

~missing u~

i miss my mum~ she has gone for this course...its in mersing...some stupid course...just coz she got a promotion...haih....she'll b there till this friday...then she'll b back 4 the weekend...then later...on sunday evenin she'll leave for bangi...this will go on for abt 3-4 weeks...haih...she will oni b around during the weekends....the worst part is this...this is her first time...leaving home...for more than lets c...10 hrs? imagine...and now...she'll b spending around 120 hrs outstation...and not at home! lol...i'm making it sound so serious...but yeah it is...my mum isnt like any other mums k...she's a polio patient...which means...she has problems...going up stairs...climbing high steps...getting into a bus...haih...and can u believe it...the damn government cares a damn abt all these....haih~ lol...i know...ok...i sound pathetic...but yea...i am mad abt it...lol...but i know la...she'll b fine....she has got lots of frens there and all...everything shud b fine~ hope she has fun there~hmm...ok...wat did i do...this weekend...oh yah...we celebrated my mum's b'day...lol...her b'day is actually this comin tuesday...but since shes going for this stupid course..lol...so...we decided 2 celebrate it early~we bought her a nice bracelet....took her out for makan...hehehhe...we were all being good ppl...lol...not annoying her in any way~lol...it was nice la~ we had fun~then today...i helped my mum pack sum stuff...for her trip 2 mersing...hmm...then the time came ...2 say good bye...i cant believe i didnt hug her...well the truth is...my eyes got kinda watery and all...didnt want her to know that i was cryin and all...so...i shook her hands ....and i said bye~ take care....and all...lol...sounds like sum short drama ha? lol...but yea....then...i drove to tuition ....hmm...now...i'm just sitting here...blogging and chattin...and thinkin...whether the hse will b this quiet for these 5 days....seriously,,..its so quiet,,,,coz normally....my mum will b chasing my bro to the toilet...askin him 2 take his bath and all...lol...and chasing my dad 2 the kitchen...askin him 2 take his medicine and all...lol...and screaming at me...for spending too much time online :P...lol...haih...well...i know she'll b fine...hope she enjoys her self there....hmm...well i gtg ....c ya~

Friday, November 11, 2005

"life"

life is so hard la nowadays.....these few days i've been thinkin a lot...thinkin how life will b in sc 1, thinking how i'm gonna survive in form 6....can't believe it....i'm gonna b in upper six next year!!! omg! haih...time passes so damn fast....haih...having mixed feelings~ happy: got sum ang pau :P cant wait 2 spend, sad: gonna leave sc 3...the best class, insecure: dunno wat the hell am i doing....dunno wat the hell is goin on....everything seems so weird....i'm doubting myself..!, nervous: gotta sit for this SAT test...i have no idea...how i'm gonna pass this damn test! haiyoh.........life sux la! hahahahhaha....i'm always sayin that ha? hmm...wat 2 do....my life is so damn weird la~ hmm...well tomolo is da last day of skool....after dat...i have extra classes and all....got tonnes of homework and projects...to be completed during the holidays~ haih....life is so tough man~ hmmm....ok la...i know...this post is kinda boring and all....cant help it mate...life's boring~

ps: try the test~ lol...r u nice or naughty:P

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Friday, November 04, 2005

~Philophobia!~

i am having philophobia~ oh no!!!! lol...wonderin wat philophobia is eh? well philophobia is the fear of falling in love or the fear of being in love~ interesting eh? dont ask me why...but i have been having this phobia ever since i got to know how hard life is when u fall in love...i know...its all sweet and all...but its really painful and bitter when u break up and all~ haih...anyway...i've got stuff to talk abt today...hmm...lets start wif deepavali! its was great la! woke up at 5 sumthin dat mornin...did a kolam(u noe the thing they make at the porch of ur hse....the flowery thingy using rice grains and all) lol...wat a definition! hahahahha...yea...i did a kolam...then...took my bath and all...dressed up...i WORE RED THIS YEAR! lol...can u believe it....chilli red! LOL....wonder wat was i thinkin when i bought it! lol...then we had visitors thru out the day...my relatives came over for lunch and all...was so bz collecting ang pau and all :P i must tell u this......i have been eating like a pig these past few days! :'( so sad! haih...feeling so fat! ok...well back 2 my story...hmm...then dat nite...i went over to my aunts place and all...we played fire crackers...and all...was so cool! hehehehhe...had loads of fun...never knew my uncles were still so young at heart! lol...they played fire crackers like nobody's business! lol...imagine men in their late forties...playin fire crakers! lol...was funny and cute! lol...dat was my deepavali for 2005! hahahaha...i collected oni abt 200 bucks this time...i guess everyones on a budget ha? lol...cant wait to spend all the money...lol...might just spend it on books this time.. :( ...hmm...other than dat...nuthin much la...life has been ok lately...everything pretty boring...except food! food is never boring....its so funny ....i never seem to feel guilty when i eat...but after i'm done...i tend to brood abt it~ weird eh? lol...yala...imagine being me...then u'll understand! hahahahha...well gtg now...bro wants to use the com! will write soon~ MuNnA

Saturday, October 29, 2005

~mixed-emotionsz~

at the moment...i dunno what am i feeling...it seems like...there's sadness...a lil happiness...excitement...frustration....emptiness...i feel alone...i feel like i'm ignored....i am feeling weird~ lol...sounds so funny eh? but its true...i dont know...which feeling to attend to first...its so confusing....ok...lets start...today...hmm...the mornin was ok...as usual..was rushing the whole mornin...selvi said she wasnt comin 2 skool and all....well...reached skool at abt 7.15...then...was talkin 2 ashweni and vicky...then...lined up and all...was talkin to kasthuri abt deepavali and all....tellin her how excited i am abt it(cant wait 4 da ang pau part :P)...hahahahha...yea...then we had chem...THREE PERIODS!!LOL....hahahhaha...trust me...3 periods of chem is a lil too much...hahahha...especially when we're forced 2 watch dat weird cd....lol...couldnt pay attention...so...i decided 2 complete maths hw...ok...then after that was PA....that was when we all got to know abt THE LIST! hahahha....THE LIST...refers to the list of names.. of students who will b going to science one...well...basically they're streaming us...i ran down...lol...wif ashweni...to check the list...well...we're both going to science one! for a moment...i felt satisfied...coz...my hard work did pay off...then suddenly it striked my mind...i am gonna leave science 3! oh my god! i love science 3...there isnt another class like sc 3...we rock! haih...ashweni felt the same....we were pretty sceptical at first...but then we realised...the only way 2 actually progress academically is by having great competition around us,...when there's competition...we will work harder! but u noe...there is still a part of me that wants to stay in sc 3...haih...sc 3 is breaking up! so sad ha? tell me abt it! haih...well dat was the hot news in skool la...haih...i am so gonna miss sc 3...to all those who r gonna stay in sc 3...gonna miss u guys~...and to those goin 2 sc 1...have fun in ur new class! and to the teachers....(although i am pretty sure they never read this blog :P)...thanks so much for ur guidance! thank god my bio teacher is still gonna mark my project and all...thank god 4 dat! she's a great teacher la...all my teachers r great! haih...so gonna miss them...haih...i guess in life...these things are normal...we have 2 go thru all these...in order to b a strong human being...we have to fight against all odds! ahahahaha...weird man~ just weird...i cant believe...i'll b joinin sc 1 from the 9/11/05...i hope they change it man! hmm...well i gtg now...gotta study...got chem test tomolo(tuition) :'( haih! byeeeeeeeee

Monday, October 24, 2005

my fav pixxxxx

swe3t swe3t galzzzzzzz>>>>Krisha~pavesha~paveena~
my cutie pies~~~PaV33Na*~*PaV3ShA*~*NaRaIn*~*

things that cant b explained...

well...was on the phone wif sumone....sumone i thought was really dear to me...sumone who to me...was one of the greatest human beings...brought down 2 earth..sadly this person...changed! i have no idea how this happened...it seems like he is drifting away 4m me...moving further away 4m me...leaving me behind...he doesnt seem to respect me anymore...he doesnt seem to pay attention when i'm talking...the best of all...he has started cursing me...he slammed the phone down when i was talking to him...slammed it so hard...that it broke my heart! this person...who i am talkin abt isnt a boyfriend or even a friend...he is a family member...a person...who i love...and really care abt...a person...who i always trusted...man! its sick...its so sad...to c that person...just leave u like that...mayb he has been influenced by his frens...or mayb his cousins...he was here...at my place...2 weeks ago...he wasnt really close to me though...like how he was ...a year ago...when i was at his place...well...its ok...its time to move on....but all i'd like to say is that i'm hurt now...i feel sad abt this incident...and really hope that it was just a mistake...man...i wish it was a dream...i'm pinchin my self...and it hurts! ...i realise that its reality...it really happened...and...i know that this incident...will forever stay in my mind...till the day i die! i feel like crying...i feel like forgetting wat happened....but sadly i cant...i cant control myself any longer....it hurts so badly inside....note: if it was my mistake...if i had said sumthin that i shouldnt have said...i'm sorry! i never meant to do it! the situation went out of control...and i hope...u will forgive me... :'(
*dedicated to you~*

~sumtimes...the ppl closest to you...the ppl that u thought...understood u the most...could b the ones...breaking ur heart~

>MuNna<



Saturday, October 22, 2005

crying silently~

well...lately it seems like ur moving away 4m me...it seems like u r not spending time with me anymore....it seems like...ur drifting away 4m me...it seems like u've forgotten all the great times we had together....it seems like...u dont like me anymore...u dont like seeing me...u dont like talkin to me....u dont enjoy hanging out with me anymore....is there sumthin wrong with me? am i the cause of all this? if its me...pls tell me...thats the best thing u can do 4 me~right now...i'm thinking of the past...those great times we had together...those sweet memories...the great times we had together......man...it ended so fast! if only i could turn back time...and analyse...every mistake dat i did,...every wrong decision...every wrong step...that caused this problem...i know its me...i am always the cause of every problem....haih...wat am i supposed 2 do abt it...i guess its just fate! i might have been a little unfriendly at times...i might have ignored you....i might have not even taken a step to look at u...when u passed my way...i might have taken u for granted...i might have used u for the wrong reasons...i might have been rude...i might have said things that i shouldnt say.....but honestly,....its a mistake...a huge mistake...well...theres no point ....cryin over spilt milk... just wanna tell u...dat ur special to me...so special...i cant imagine a life without you.....a life...without a friend like you...
*dedicated to all my frens*

~if one day...i'm gone and failed to say goodbye, Remember...that i'll never fail to say...THANK YOU...coz i've got the chance to know you~

>MuNnA<

ps: try the grudge test: click the title above

Saturday, October 15, 2005

hmmm......

hey~ u noe wat...lately i've been feeling really unsecure...i'm doubting my self...i'm doubting every action that i take...or plan to take...its weird...its disturbing! i feel so weird...the ppl around me...are acting really weird....sumtimes...it feels like...my presence on earth is being ignored! i feel like...sumtimes...even the ppl closest to my heart...the ppl whom i really care for...are all goin against me...its like as though...i am making huge mistakes in life....mistakes that i shouldnt make...at this stage of life....sumtimes...i feel so alone...wished i could spill everything out...but...sadly i cant...that is just me...wow...its seems like i'm depressed...yea...i guess thats the word! i am going thru depression! haih...sumtimes...it feels like giving up....but...i cant! i am still in the race...the race of life! the only choice i have...is...to complete the race...i cant give up...i cannot turn back either! u realise sumthin...when were happy...and enjoying our life...we forget all our worries...all the sadness in our heart...all the depession we went thru...but when we get depressed....all the past comes back to us...we tend to remember every inch of it...every memory...every sad thing...that has happened to us...and it all attacks us at once...causing severe pain...wow! it hurts man...*ouch* haih...i know this wont last long...i'll get over it.....but...it seems like...i cannot handle it...if only crying could help~well...i know...the only thing that i can do now...is try to think positive abt everything! i just gotta take this as one obstacle...an obstacle that i have to go thru...in order 2 be a stronger person!hmmm...i can do it!i can overcome this thing...that i'm goin thru!actually.... i really hope so..........

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

trust?

wat does it mean ar? the word trust...based on the oxford advanced leaners dictionary...trust means honest...sincere...well today i learnt a lot abt trust...how important it is to not break ppls trust...the trust they have on u....haih...i made a mistake today...my fren trusted me with sumthing...and i think...i kinda broke her trust...by tellin it 2 sumone else...she doesnt noe abt it though....but it makes me feel so guilty...i feel like i should tell her...wat i've done...and beg for forgiveness...but one part of me says that...i shouldnt say a word 2 her...i should just ignore everything...like as though it never happened...but...its bad...we're really good frens...she's important to me...she supports me...she taught me things that i never knew....she believes in me...and she trusts me...sadly...i broke that trust! if i ignore....some day...sooner or later...she might get 2 noe it....but there is a chance...that she might not! i am worried...if i tell her...the mistake dat i've done...she might totally lose trust on me...she might still b frens with me and all...but...but...i doubt it will b the same~ i know...when ppl get upset and all...they kinda like move away 4m u...hmm...but...if i really respect the friendship btw us...i think i should tell her...i am a big friendship freak....i'll do anything for friendship...but that doesnt mean i'm everybody's fren...all i'm trying 2 say is that i care a lot for the ppl i accept as frens....ppl who i think are great 2 b kept as frens...haih....well....in abt 9 hrs time..iill b seein her in skool...i think i should tell her....i dont know whether i'm taking this thing 2 seriously or not...but yea...u noe me...i take everything seriously...haih...thats just me~ cant change that~ basically...i've learnt a great lesson 2day la...haih...must seriously make sure it wont repeat again~

Saturday, September 03, 2005

sorry....i know...its been a while :P

hello peepzzz....i know...its been a while since i posted sumthin ha? well...here goes la...seriously...FORM 6 IS TOUGH! *sigh* hahahhaha....its so hard....haih...but wat 2 do...i just gotta go thru it man...wonder how chee guan does it la? btw chee guan is like the SMARTEST person la in S3........man....i so need to work extra hard....haih...but then again...i wanna enjoy!! hahahahha...well lets just skip dat la...hmm...last month...was cool...had our orientation night...wow...its was so damn cool!! everyone looked so good on that day....so well dressed...everyone looked so ...so...so...adult! wow...guys with long sleeved shirts...and ties...and sum wif coats...and gals...with sexy yet attractive looking dresses....WOW! well...its started off okla...we had sum problems with the registration and all...i was helping rach with the registration... we were not organised la...,.but who cares....it was just the beginning...then we had sum performances....by the lower six students...s2's preformance was good la....but i seriously think s3 was the best(my class....surela! hehehehe)...we did cross dressing....wow...the guys were so sporting la....they were wearing dresses....skirts and all...hahahahha..it was good la! the food...was okla...the best part...was when they opened the dance floor...wow! we dnaced like nobody's business man....hahahahha...rach got a shock man...she has never seen me dance! hahahahha....sorry rach...did i give u a fright ar? lol....i was releasing all my tension la....hahahhah...and honestly...dancing in a group...is so cool! man....sadly we could only dance 4 a short while.... :( watla mr.han!! haih....but overall...i had loads of fun la...haih...wonder why the day had 2 end so fast....memories of that beautiful nite...will forever stay in my heart man! other than dat...nuthin much la...life sux...actually not so bad la...just that my life is getting really boring la....haih....i tend to spend most of my time doing homework...haih...sad ha? hmm...wat to do..? haih...my life is so boring!!~ haih....i guess dats it 4 now la...gotta go do tuition homework now...lol....nit3zzz

Saturday, July 23, 2005

amour....no es amour....

hahahhaha....was listenin 2 dat song....man...its been like so long since i actually came online and updated my blog....sadly...no one nice is online...hahahhaha...nvm ler....anyway...oh yah,.....i am doing FORM 6....hahahhahahahha...well...the reason y i actually decided 2 quit a-levels is coz i wanted 2 play safe....dont ask me why i didnt think abt this earlier....there is a reason 2 it...but i dont wish to state it!! anyway...i'm at st.john's institution now....the skool rocks!! its totally different from normal skools...its like sum sort of military skool...but seriously the skool rocks!!the people there r like so damn friendly!! actually when i first entered the skool....i thought it is gonna b hard 2 mix around...but honestly....the first day itself...i got to know so many ppl...they were all so friendly....well...i still miss my college frens though....especially dashini...dont worry gal...we will meet up sumtime soon kayzzz? well...i guess dats it la 4 now....too tired to type ...hahahahhaha...will post more fun stuff soon!! bye

Thursday, July 07, 2005

man!! hate this!!

well today i couldnt go to college....the bus had a flat tyre!! can u believe it...not going 2 college on the 3rd day...after commencement date?? haih,....today according to a friend of mine...we got our time table....and were not in da same class....sad huh? anyway...college is okla...people keep freaking us abt a-levels and all...saying its hard and all...haih...dunnola...feels like giving up at times...today i am pretty down though...haih...was ready 4 college...when suddenly another guy who was also supposed 2 take the bus told me dat the bus isnt coming...coz of the FLAT TYRE!! haih...so...i couldnt go...wanted to take a taxi...but dad didnt allow...haih...i feel so left out now...if only i could fly...haih..smsed my frens quite a lot of times...kinda worried abt the english placement test that i sat 4 yesterday....i doubt i did well...i crapped a lot!! man...its like...i have to do 4 subjects( math,bio,chem,LAN) and also another compulsory subject which is either english or general paper...according to the lecturer, the college decides on which compulsory subject u shud take..i hope i did ok...still waiting for the reply from my friend regarding that...haih...why does everything in life have to be so hard? i am oledi feeling the tension..!! at the moment...i am just hoping the lecturers wont have bad thoughts abt me though...i hope they will understand!! man...i guess my fren is still kinda bz wif college...she hasnt answered the sms...oh man...mayb i did badly...and she doesnt wanna make me feel sad abt it...oh god!! haih...everything seems so hard at the moment...and that stupid bus!! all coz of the bus!! haih!! oh yeah..just to let u all noe...i wont b able to come online...during week days though...coz kinda bz wif college and all...mayb we can chit chat on the weekend or sumthin!! well...i guess dats it 4 now...will write more sum time soon!! bye

Thursday, June 30, 2005

hmm...writing after so long...

hmm...ok...well...basically...nuthin much has been going on lately....was really bz these past few days...was working for my dad...hahahhahaha...he called me his secretary and my mom his P.A. ...lol...so funny...hehehhe....anyway...yea...well...i am counting my days...this coming monday i will b startin college...so excited!! hahahaha...cant wait!! hahahahha...i'm taking 4 subjects...bio, chem, maths...and a compulsory paper which is english/ general paper...havent decided on that though...hmm...planin 2 take the general paper...but dunnola...we shall wait and c...hmm...this week...have to go shopping...get sum clothes!! i hate shopping for clothes....haih...i've got my reasons...i wouldnt wanna state it here...haih...anyway...today is one of my coolest frens b'day!! she's turnin 18 today!! HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY YOON HI!! hahahahha...hmm...other than dat nuthin much has been happenin around here...i have been thinking a lot lately...i really hope i'll enjoy college life!! worried...if i dont....oh well...i dun care lar...i am just goin there 2 study and do well in my a levels!! hmm...other than dat...i'm kinda missing my pet sis now...its been a while since i had a nice chat with her...she has gone 4 a holiday!! well...gal...i hope ur having fun kayzzz? she need it!! hmm...i guess dats it 4 now...hmm...catch ya sum time soon!!

ps: there is a quiz.(for gals only) lol....try it :P

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

its been a while~

i know...its been a while since i actually wrote a post...hmm...well...nothing much has been going on in my life lately...its the same old stuff!! nothing new~ haih...kinda boring~~~ hehehehhe...well...lately i have been thinkin...whether i should go to TPM Acaddemy or Monash University...hmmm...my friends want me to go to Monash University...because its well known world wide...compared to TPM Academy...can u belive this...most of them have never heard a thing about TPM Academy...hehehehhehe...hmm...i had a chat with my parents recently about this problem....the discussion was good because my parents helped me compare the pros and cons and all...and finally i decided that i should complete my A-Levels and then i can decide whether to go to Monash U. or TPM Academy....ok...enough about education...hmm...my life...well it is goin well...its pretty boring though...once Lilian Too ( feng shui master) said...when your life is boring, it means that ur life is perfect...lol...without problems and all...hahahhahaha...u must be thinking that i believe in feng shui ha? actually i dont ...hmm...no idea why! ok...hmm...other than that..nothing much has been going on..today...i have not been doing much though...typed a few letters for Dad...hmm...the sat down and solved some puzzles(Star rewards word puzzles)..hmm...and now just sitting down here...and blogging...hmm...i guess thats it for now...will write more soon( if something nice happens :P) see ya soon!! bye!!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

hmm...another boring day ~~~~

hmm...ok...its saturday...mornin!!hmm...yesterday...was a normal day la...nuthin much happened....i was reading a magazine today..."SEVENTEEN"....it was good la...there was an article on this girl who sent pictures that exposed her boops and stuff in the net...it was interesting...coz there was one part she said...although she has a bf...she still likes listenin 2 other guys' comments on how she looks...on whether she's sexy enough or not...it was interesting...as there was this guy who was madly in love wif her..he was so crazy over her until he actually sent abt 20 emails a day....crazee ha? he also actually got her house address and her phone number....she got so freaked 0ut...crazee ha...haih....u c wat ppl actually do...to get extra attention...omg...this is crazee!! hahahahhaha..anyway...other than dat...i didnt do much..haih...kinda pissed at my fren...dunno wats that persons problem...sux man...anyway...i care a damn abt dat anyway...hmm...today....goin 2 midvalley....gonna lepak there....watch star wars...then play bowling...oh man...cant wait!!! hehehhehe...i jus enjoy goin out wif my frens la!!! hahahhahahahha...miss them la....haih...u noe wat...sumtimes...i wished we could all go back 2 skool again....but i am sure...i wouldnt wanna sit 4 SPM again...lol...hmm...oh yah...net a fren of mine...who jus came back 4m national service...hahahhahaha....she has sum admirers now...hehehhehe.....well...dats it 4 now...c ya!!!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

hmm....why things like this always happen?

hmm...well...lately i have been thinkin....thinkin really deep abt all my problems and all...and u noe wat i realised? your best fren could b ur worst enemy!! its bad...its really sick....but its the truth....people who i once trusted....ppl who i have always thought of as polished human beings...human beings that understand pain and suffering...and actually care for others....have actually changed ....i am not sure why this happens...but they never seem to realise dat their change of attitude...actually affects everyone around them....especially their frens...haih...its sad to say a fren who i thought was kind...sumone who was actually nice ...sumone who i thought i could keep as a fren for a very long time...suddenly changed......changed and just destroyed everything.... just like that....in seconds....man....this is sick! haih...well....losing sumone jus like that isnt a big deal...but its worst...when this person hurts the people i care for...the people i go to...when i am in great need....the people i love! hurtin them...killing every hope they had...destroying every trust that was given to that person...haih...its so sad!! i just wonder....dont these animals realise wat their doing? dont this ungrateful ppl realise the damage they have done? man....its sick!! haih...the worst part is...the person causing all these problems...was once a fren...haih....i guess its true.....ur best frens can ur the worst enemies....haih...well...dats it la 4 today....hmm...will write more soon....

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

back...hehehe

back at home! hmm...well nuthin much has happened this past week....other than me enjoyin myself at my cuzins house....it was fun la...and guess wat i actually survived not using the computer for a whole week....hahahhahahha...great accomplishment eh? anyway...hmm....my mood has changed a lot though these past few days...i am kinda like goin thru bad times la....college problems....friends problems....haih....kinda hate this at times....currently...i am so not in da mood la...feels sick at times...but wat is there 4 me 2 do....haih! anyway....hmm...my life is as boring as ever....this week kinda bz...coz...meetin up wif teachers 4m my old school...then...gotta start packing coz....gonna shift into my new hse now,.....kinda excited abt dat....hmm...well dats it la....

ps: lol....check out the site man...kinda violent...lol!!

c ya soon ...muaxzzz

Thursday, May 26, 2005

hmm....feeling so alone....

i am so lonely...i am MISS lonely....i have nobody...to call my own....hahahahha....reminds me of that AKON song....LONELY!! hahahhahahha...its kinda sad lar...today i feel so....ALONE...so... alone...hmm...mayb coz...i feel everyone around me....are so drifting apart 4m me...its...like ppl keep hurting me...then at the end...they jus try to forget me....like...i am sum sort of a dumping friend..hahhahahaha...mayb i jus am....hmm...well...i guess u noe...most of my frens are meant to be....temporary frens......dat come in my life for a reason...and then...they jus leave!! leave without a note...without giving a proper reason...u noe wat...sumtimes things in life happen for a reason...but...sumtimes sum stuff in life.....shudnt happen....and...thats when...it kinda makes life worst...hahahhaha....its kinda weird that its comin 4m me...well...i guess i jus gotta go thru all these...hahhhaha....kinda used 2 it...mayb its coz...i dun really....show wat i feel to others...when they actually tell me sumthin...dat actually hurts me....haih...anyway...to all of ya...reading out there.....jus remember k....when ur in a bad mood...when ur goin thru sumthin u wouldnt want anyone 2 go thru...sumthin dat could change ur life...and could break ur heart...make sure...u dont show it to others...coz...sumtimes...when u get out of control...u might say sumthin...dat might just break sumones heart into pieces.....and...when this happens...u not only make that person broken inside...but u could have made that person...feel small abt themselves.....feel so bad....feel so not wanted.....which isnt sumthin nice....to do...especially...if that person was once ur frens...or is still ur fren till today!! trust me....there are many ups and downs in friendship.....its hard 2 actually protect and ensure the strength of this relationship...as it could jus end...within a second....haih...anyway...today...didnt do much lar....everythin was so boring...haih....oh yah...will oni b goin 2 my aunts place on friday...so not bad lar...i got one extra day 2 go online...lol....yea...hahahhahaha...addicted to the computer lar...kinda hard 2...live without it!! hahhaaha...well...i guess dats it 4 now....hmm...hope 2 write more soon...hahahhahaha...c ya!!

ps: click on the title...to go straight to AKON's website....click on media...and listen to his latest popular single...LONELY!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

wat a boring day~~

well...today...another boring day...jus had a telephone conversation wif yoon hi...shes so fun to talk 2 lar...luv her lar...lol....i mean,....u will never ever get bored talkin 2 her man...she is jus so funny...lol...so much 4 her pink hippo and her dog...lol...hahahhaha....not forgetting her chocolate bar...lol...anyway...other than dat...nuthin much is goin on....hehhehehe...chattin wif my pet sis at the moment....hearing sum nice news 4m her :D...anyway...hmm...today....is a boring day...yesterday was cool lar....i went 4 this presidents merit award function...it was so cool...met so many ppl...and guess wat...the weird thing is...we all f0rgot 2 exchange email addresses and phone numbers...lol...we all mixed around like we knew each other....when actually....we were all strangers 2 each other...lol...it was funny man....and the funniest was this...they called my name twice on stage!!hahhahahahhahaha....it was funny...lol....well...i think the award function was kinda good lar...i mean...it kinda made us feel special...hmm..they gave us...a cert...sum money...and a piuter trophy...the trophy was cool lar....so nice!! hmm....dat was it really...hmm.....well...will b goin 2 my aunts house on thursday.....will b there 4 a week...which means....no computer 4 a week :'(...man....lol...its like i cant live without a computer...lol....actually...i am kinda attached 2 it...dats y....alla....one week oni...i will survive!!hahahhahahhaha...well...dats it 4 now...c ya soon!!! muaxzzzz!!


ps: try the fashion test....by jus clickin the title above!! :D

Sunday, May 22, 2005

HAIH...I AM SO BORED!!!!

ok..i am bored...i am so bored...haih...never felt this bad b4...but seriously...it sux!!!man...haih...ok...i didnt do much lar...this few days...went 2 cut my hair...man...i think i lost abt almost 3 inches....wow...dats a lot of hair...lol....hmm...other than dat...i have not been doin much lately...everythin sux!!! haih....i so wanna go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but sadly....i cant!!!!! man!!! it sux!!! basically my life sux!!!


try the colour quiz-----click on the title above!!

Friday, May 20, 2005

brain test? left brain or right brain?

brain test!! lol...click the title above

correct zodiac sign??

is ur zodiac sign correct?? wanna noe??? click on the title above!!

try this test...just click on this <>

try this....quite cool :D

Thursday, May 19, 2005

hmm...not bad eh?<----click this 2 try a quiz!!

hahahhahahha....jus updated my blog...made it a lil more interesting :P hmm...must do more...lol...well...today...i'm oklar....nuthin much is goin on around here....everythin is ok i guess....except for sum stuff lar...which i cant control!! :)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

hmmm.......my life sux lar!! :(

ok...hmm...nuthin much happened this weekend...hmm....didnt do much...i went to c my fren in the hospital...she had an asthma attack....that was all i did this weekend...haih...i have been thinkin a lot lately....thinkin abt life....thinkin abt my frens.....thinkin abt my family...thinkin abt my education..thinkin abt ppl who have left me.....thinkin abt everything...!! lately i have been feeling lonely....i hate this feeling lar...its like i have no one with me..i feel like i have made many mistakes in life...i shouldn't have done sum things.... i regret alot....it feels like...i have to leave this current chapter in my life...and i shud move on to a new chapter...but one deep corner of my heart is askin me to stay.....to stay and cherish evey little memory...every little moment i had in my life....but...when i think of memories.....its always the bad ones...dat will cause an impact on me....makes me cry at times coz...coz.....it feels like those bad memories are sirculating around me...sirculating around me...and killing me slowly....killing me day by day....and affecting my heart every second of my life....but one thing i am not sure of....is the cause of this sudden feeling....i mean...sumtimes...it just strikes me....its like...i'll never know when will it attack....scary!! but i guess...thats wat emotions are all abt...i mean...it cant b controlled 100%!! it comes and goes....without any sign...without any warning....its unique ha? i mean...everything jus happens as wat is planned 4 all of us....its fate! Just FATE!

Friday, May 13, 2005

after so long...lol

ok,..so...its been a while...well....lets se...on the 7th...i had driving class.....then...the dinner...it was my b'day dinner....it was so cool!! i had loads of fun...my aunts, uncles and cuzins were there...my dad had it at his golf club....i got like mario cd....hmm...loads of money...i think abt 500 bucks....hmm....a big cake.....yummy...chocolate cake summore...man...it was damn good....i got sum tops...was cool!! then...on sunday....i had driving class again...man.....it was so stressful...coz the next day....is the day...the driving test day!!...ok....monday was so stressful.....coz...coz...its the day...the day 4 me to prove to those JPJ guys that i can drive.....and guess wat i passed!!! lol...i guess it was my luck lar...lol...but who cares...i can finally drive...well...not really lar...gotta wait 4 2 weeks...then oni i will get my P license....man....anyway.....now...all i got to do...is try to get my parents to trust my driving...then ask 4 a car...which i doubt they will gimme...lol...anyway...who cares...i dun care abt the car...i jus wanna drive!! lol....hahahhahaha....well....oh yah...i wasnt on9 4 quite sum time...coz my streamyx was down....haih...they took 4 to 5 days to repair it!! man!! anyway...its oledi ok now....hmm....kinda bz nowadays....i'm like my dads secretary....typin letters all d way...lol...but i guess it fun!! hahahahha....well...dats it 4 now...c ya soon!! muaxzzz!!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

hi!! i'm back...LOL

ok...well...i know...its been quite a while since i have actually written a blog...hmm...well...to think about it...there is still nothing new in my life...lol!! kinda sad lol!! oh yah...my driving exams is on monday!! man i am so nervous!! well....actually if i do FAIL...there is still a chance 4 me 2 sit for it again....oh yah...my fren told me...dat once there was this guy...who actually took his driving exam for more than 200 times..and he passed oni after abt 227 times! poor guy!! i hope i dont become like that....i guess...if i fail more than 4 times...i might bribe :P hahhahahahahhahaha.. ...rasuah.. ..hahaahhahaha............... ..anyway...hmm...my life....its ok...nuthin much though...hmm.....i miss skool so much!! oh yah...i met up wif my pals on monday(2nd may)...it was fun!!watched the jacket...was a good movie....had a twisty part!! i had a great time with them!! can u believe it...they actually got me a cake!! so sweet of them!! i got presents 2!! i guess...i had lots of fun!! that day rocked!! and i will never forget that special day!! thanks guy!! love u all so much!! hehhehehehe...hmm....other than dat..hmm....nuthin much happened lar!! kinda boring lar!!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

wow....its been a while~~~

hi...i'm back again...after a long time...hmm...well my life...nuthin new lar...its just the same old me....still waiting for something new to happen.....cant wait for it to happen.....hmm....about my education....well...i have appealed for my JPA scholarship....but i think got no hope lar....i dont care abt it d lar....i just gotta move on!!!! so...most prob...i will b goin 2 sunway college in july to do my a-levels...then continue biotech in monash.....if its tyoo tight for me to handle...i will jus have to apply for a study loan.....which at this point i dun mind doing!!! hmm....well...in my life....nuthin much happened....jus dat...nowadays i am kinda bz...workin 4 my dad...i type letters and all....dun really mind doin dat....at least i wont die of boredom!!! lolzzz....well...i guess dats it 4 now....lolzzz...my life is so damn boring!!! will write more...if...and oni if sumthin happens...i mean sumthin new...lolzz....c ya!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2005

i feel broken...broken into pieces....

broken...that explains wat i;m feeling right now.....i dont noe wat i did wrong....i worked for it...yet they think i still dont deserve it...deserve this thing dat i had so much hope on.....i worked hard....and tried my very best,,,why cant they understand this!!!i am broken....today i checked...the net...abt my JPA scholarship...and guess wat...i didnt make it!!! i am a fool!!! i thinks my results isnt enough!!! i feel so useless!!! this is only the interview part...and guess wat...i didnt even qualify till dat stage!!! i thought my results....could bring me sum luck...but i guess luck never always falls on ur side!!! it hurts me inside!!! i didnt get my matriks...and now JPA TOO!!! haih....i feel like cryin!!! cryin all the pain in my heart out!!! cheh....i didnt noe it is so hard for the government to give me this!!! damn...i feel so useless....thank GOD....although i was sad...and almost lost hope....i still had the guts...and will to hang on!!! man....sumtimes i wonder...why everything is so unfair in this country!!! i have no idea...is it coz of my skin colour...dat i didnt get this scholarship??? or is it coz i am stupid??? or is it coz i am not good enough for this country??? haih!!! i guess this things happen....nuthin is fair in life!!!haih....luckily...i have got supportive parents by my side....they r actually willing to appeal....honestly....i have lost hope....i am not gonna wait for the government!!! man...i care a damn abt this government!!! i have decided....i am goin to continue studyin...i'll apply for a loan....i'll try my very best to do well....and i will try 2 prove 2 the government...that i am good enough!!! good enough for everythin!!! who am i kidding....i bet they dun care....haih....well...all i noe...is i jus gotta do well...make my parents happy!!! and be successful!!! dats all i want!!! i noe i can...but seriously...i feel like cryin now...cryin all the pain...OUT!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

~~tuesday~~12th april 2005~~

hmm...another boring day!!! hahahhahahhaha....i am so waiting for something nice to happen...but sadly nothing so far!!! lolzzz...sounds so desperate!!! hahahahhahahaha....well...lately...nothing nice happened...same old me...with same old stories...lolzzz...well not really lar...hmm....oh yah...i wasnt chosen for matriculation....hmm....well...i dont mind really....its just that.,..my options now....just reduced from 3 to 2....so now...its either...JPA or A-Levels at Sunway College!!! hmm....well...i hope i get my JPA...keeping my fingers crossed!!! anyway...enough about education....back to me...hmm....lately...have been missing school a lot!!! miss having fun with friends...miss the school teachers.....miss everything....well...tamil new year coming up....on thursday...then on friday...its the malayalees new year!!! hahahhahahha...i celebrate both...coz my dad is a tami; and my mum is a malayalee....lolzzz...love being mix!! coz i get to eat two different types of food!!! lolzzz...well...that is it 4 now...c ya soon!!!

Thursday, April 07, 2005

hmmm.....

hey...i'm back....back with the same old me!!! hehehhehehe....it's true!!! anyway...i went for a career fair on Sunday...just for the fun of it...with my dad...i was just lookin around...it was pretty boring....i thought i will go home with an empty hand...but suddenly i saw Sunway College booth...and guess wat they were actually trying to promote their A-Levels course.....finally, i saw somethin dat had a connection with me...lolzzz....so...we stopped there...we asked a few things about the course...and guess what...they are actually offering scholarships...and they are willing to give me RM5000.....dat was like the highest amount...so far....taylors...said they can only give me RM2000....help....they also can only give me dat amount....hmm....sedaya college....RM2500...for the same course...which is A-Levels....and finally i found a college dat actually appreciates my results!!! lolzzz...i make it sound so great...well....actually i am very happy...i don't have to make my dad suffer much....i mean...i am from a moderate family...so....it's not easy....well...i guess...if i dont get my JPA scholarship....i will straight start my A-Levels in July....haih...i guess...there will about 2 months plus....haih!!! dat a lot of time!!! i am going to enjoy to the max because i know that once i start college....there will be no time for me to enjoy :P hehhehehhehehe...well.....i went to my aunts place on sunday too....basically dats all dat happened on sunday!!! on monday, hmmm....i was at my aunts place....playing around wif my cousinz....hahahhahahaha...and guess what...they are all like about ages 5-12 ....we played hide and seek, catching, spin the bottle, hmm....we did some cooking....well...it was fun....i noe dat i am 18...but i guess there is still a kid in all of us....i have to tell that i never actually felt bored at their place...hahahhahahha...because we just had lots of kiddy stuff to do!! lolzz.... i love kids!!! hahahhahahahha...coz i'm a kid too :P hmm....tuesday...was oklar....was at my cousins place till 5....came back....had to repair my printer...coz my dear brother did something to it....u noe me...i am always to the rescue...lolzzz....i repaired it!!! lolzzz...make me sound so great!!! lolzzz...anyway...today...hmm...back tomy normal routine...no more catching , hide and seek...lolzzz...back to serious work...hahahhaha...which is chatting, checking my friendster...and blogging...hahhahahhaha...well...dats all for today!!! actually for now....i might add on later!!! bye!!!

***trying my best to stop the chatting language...lolzzz....mum scolded me the other day....because i kept writing everything using the chatting language...lolzzz...must change!!! but it is hard!!! trust me...hahahhahaha...well...see ya!!

Friday, April 01, 2005

B-O-R-I-N-G

BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG........................................................................life is jus so boring!!! haih...i so miss school lar...i mean...there was nuthin as fun as goin 2 skool...skool rox!!! haih...i miss skool...i miss the teachers...and i miss my frens...LOADS!!! imagine a life without frens!!! life is only fun with frens around!!!! hmm...well...back to today...it's a boring day!!! damn i am so bored!!! never had anythin nice 2 do...haih...all i did was type sum stories 4 my aunty coz she is gonna send it to b published...dats it...nuthin more!!! damn!!! i hate this life...hmm...i called help uni today...and they said stuff like...although i have 8 a1s i must choose either to include english or est...wat is this man...according to her my actually results is 7A1S....dats crap...then y make me sit 4 it??? damn!!! all the malaysian governments fault!!!y should i sit 4 a paper that is not recognized in this stupid HELP UNI...man...i hate this...haih...but i gotta say...ucsi(sedaya college) was better...i mean...they are actually willing to give me sum scholarship...i hope i get to go to this college...it's cheaper...and seems kinda good!!! haih...honestly i am tellin u...afta spm ...ppl think life is easy...trust me...it's not even close to easy!!! IT'S HARD!!! TRYIN TO FIND A SUITABLE COLLEGE 4 UR GRADES ISNT AN EASY TASK AT ALL!!!trust me!!! haih...i always thought...afta spm results...hooray!!! happy times always....but guess wat...it's the total opposite...ppl will congratulate u...and at the same time...PUT TONNES OF PRESSURE ON U!!!MAN!!! hate this...but i guess i am not the only one goin thru this!!! lolzzz!! i make it sound so bad...BUT IT IS!! HAIH...NVM...THIS IS LIFE!!!lolzzz well..catch ya laterzzz...nit3zzz

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

~~ SiMpLe pLAN~cOnCeRt~~ :'(

haih...can u believe it...my bro got a free V.I.P TICKET 2 C SIMPLE PLAN IN CONCERT!!!! lolzzz.......i make it sound so big a deal...but IT IS!!! i mean...oklar...i like them...but i'm not crazee over them...but...but...i love concerts!!! haih...nvm...the next time they come...i must b the first to get their tickets...lolzzz!!! well..u noe wat...i am kinda into green day and good charlotte lately!!! hope they come 2 malaysia 2 have a concert!!!! i will so go 4 it!!! i dun care wat they say...I AM GOING!!! lolzz...they have barely even planed on comin here......and i have oledi decided on goin 4 their concert...lolzzz...dats funny!!! hmm...well...other than dat...nuthin nice happened...same old me...wif my same old stories!!! damn.,,,,it's boring!!! haih!!! well...dats it 4 now....catch ya laterzzz!!!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

lolzz....forgot abt blogging...!!!

hey!!! i'm back...afta a long long long LONG TIME!!! lolzz...kinda funny...but true...i cant believe i actually forgot abt blogging!!! i mean...i never thought i will ever forget this...but i did!!lolzzz...if not 4 my pet sis...i guess i would have never come back again!!! lolzzz...anyway...life is ok lar...nuthin much goin on....same old me...wif same old stuff!!! my life has practically lost its fun and excitement...lolzzz...it's true...i have nuthin nice 2 look forward 2...i am jus waitin 4 sumthin new and fun to happen...kinda sad yah? haih....i noe...i am sad abt my life 2...but wat can i do...lolzz...i noe i can do so many things...but u noe...there is sumthin known as being lazy??? i noe...i noe...but wat can a helpless gurl do...lolzzz...i make it sound so dramatic...hahahhahaha..well...dats all 4 now...will start blogging everyday...i hope...lolzzz...c ya!!!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

hmm....is this why i feel so bad?

well....sumthin happened earlier today...sumthin dat i never thought would happen...jus happened....i really think it was totally my fault.....i was suddenly feeling so angry...angry towards everyone...my family....the malaysian government....everythin...and i guess in such a mixed feeling......i might have showed it to u.....i never meant it that way....coz afta i came back 2 my senses....i realised i made a stupid mistake......hmm....u noe wat....i guess mayb i am jus not a good friend afta all....u noe wat...sumtimes things happen without u realising...especially mistakes......it happens when u are blur...when u least realise it would turn ugly....hmm....i never knew the 9 years of friendship we had...could jus feel so shaky afta one stupid incident....an incident that could have been avoided....an incident dat made me feel so guilty...made me feel like the bad person....made me feel like the person who messed it all up....a person...anyone wouldnt wanna have as a fren...:'( i think i failed....i failed...in being a good advisor...being a good pal....being a good listener...i failed to give u comfort when u were in great need.....basically i failed as a friend...i am a failure when it comes to friendship....all i noe is that if we even get back 2gether...our friendship will never b like how it used 2 be....never be as sweet as how it used to be.....u noe wat....our friendship was sweeter when we were communicatin thru letters....i guess internet has it's pros and cons 2....well....all i noe now is dat i have lost a very nice friend....a friend who spend almost 9 years wif me....a friend who cared a lot for me.....sadly...my mistake made our friendship end up like this....i thought i was a patient person....when it comes 2 dealing with my frens....i jus dunno wat made me lose it...haih....i guess....it was my anger....haih,....well...i am sorry....i noe it's impossible 4 u to look at this blog....but yeah...i am so sorry....really sorry!!!! i wish i could turn back time....but i cant....oh well...i regret...and i hope everythin will jus b like normal again...i hope it will....after all that i have done....this reminds me abt the simple plan song.....i'm sorry i can't b perfect!!! hmmm.....well...i am not perfect...and i will never b....well...all i can do now....is sit down and hope 4 the best to happen....hopefully it will b back 2 normal soon!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

the return of MuNnA...LOLZZZ

back again!!! hahahhaha...i noe it's been a while since i wrote a blog...well i'm back...wif blogs again...hahhahaha...well...i was kinda bz....had so many things 2 do,....we jus shifted into a new hse...."the temporary hse" hahahhahaha...this hse kinda sux lar...i mean...it's such a basic hse...nuthin nice!!!! such an ugly lookin hse...but i guess it's worth the money since were oni gonna stay here 4 3 months...or mayb less....but haih...life is back to normal again.....nuthin nice....it's the same old me!!! haih...life is like so empty now...life is so boring...everythin seems so different now..everyone so bz wif their lives....everythin has changed...and i guess it's jus 4 da better!!! hmm,.....well...i was kind apissed wif da telekoms ppl....can u believe it...i asked them 2 put a jumper 4m my old place to the new one....and they took so long to do it... finally they said it will work oni on wednesday...and guess wat...when i tried it today...it's workin...haih...i dun get it...y must they lie...hmm...i guess this world is made up by liars!!!! not all of them...but just most of them...hahahhahahha....well...i miss comin on9....i'm gonna enjoy it now...so catch ya later!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

~it's ~been ~a ~while~

well...it's been a while since i posted sumthin....well....there is nuthin new in my life...it's da same old me.....except dat i'm extra bz now....loads of stuff 2 handle....college applications...scholarship forms...haih...it seem so hard....i just hope college isnt dat hard!!!haih...anyway....i guess i jus gotta follow the flow of life....hahhahahahha....sounds so...so....so...funny!!! hahahhahaha...anyway...i am not doin this alone...there is a lot of support around me...parents...firends...everyone i noe....all my well wishers...i guess it wont b dat bad after all...anyway...today is a good day...coz it's my frens b'day!!! unfortunately...i cant go 4 her party....coz...coz...coz...she lives in sabah!! hehheheh...however.,,,we did have loads of fun when she was here....i guess dats good enough...!!! haih...i dunno why but today i am so out of ideas!!! hahahahhaha...my blogs are either too long...or jus so short :P hahahahhaha...am i weird or wat...LOLZZZ!!! anyway...dats it 4 now...will write more when i have ideas k? byezzzzzzz

Saturday, March 12, 2005

LiFe STaRTS aGaiN!!

haih,.,...i got my spm results d....and i think it was ok...it wasnt excellent...but it was okay....i guess i got his all coz of my parents...my frens...relatives...teachers...and everyone else...who always have been my well wisher!!! thanks a lot guys!!! well....afta results...comes da hectic part of life....applyin 4 scholarships and colleges!!! haih...i tell u...this is like one of the most stressful thing 2 do...i mean...when u apply...u tend to put hope on it....my worry is ...wat if i dun get it? i guess we jus gotta keep our fingers crossed!!! i mean...if u work hard...u would surely succeed!!! so...i;m gonna like apply 4 all da scholarships available...and then later jus wait and c...wat come my way!!! haih...i tot afta gettin da results...u will b like so relaxed and stuff....but unfortunately...it's worst!!! things get so tensed!!! well....i guess this sort of tension oni comes once in ur life...so i guess i jus gotta enjoy it!!! hmm....wow...i just cant believe it!!! my skool days has just come to an end!!! no more skool!!! :'( so sad!!! skool rocks!! there is nuthin more fun that just goin 2 skool and hangin around wif frens!!! miss all those!!! haih...i guess now everyone will have to go their own way,...following their hopes and dreams for the future!!! hmmm....i guess it wont b dat bad ha? there will always b sumthin 2 expect in life!!! the fun hasn't ended yet!! ;) i just hope i get into a good university....or college!!! so...i guess dats it 4 now....if i have anythin else 2 say...i'll write again!!byezzzz

Thursday, March 10, 2005

The eve of SPM results day!!!

oookay...the day has come...the eve of SPM results day....freakyyyyyyyyyy!!!! omg...i barely have a day left b4 i actually get my results....i think i have abt 15hrs and 15 minutes...wow!!! so little time left...b4 i actually c my results...the results that will decide my future....the results dat will prove whether id eserve to get scholarship or not...the results dat will decide between college and form 6....OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!! i cant believe it's finally here!!! ok...ok...no matter how bad the results is ...i still gotta face it...sooner or later...so i guess...stayin cool is the best option!!! haih...u noe wat...it's 10 times easier to say then to actually do it!!! freaky!!! i just hope i dont faint or go into mental shock afta gettin my results!!! and i soooo hope i wont do anythin stupid afta dat!!! i have faith in god..i have faith in god..i have faith in god!!!! he will help me!!! omg...i just gotta do this so dat i dont loose faith in him...THE MIGHTY ONE!! haih...i havent even decided on wat to wear tomolo....hahahahhaha...i noe it sounds funny...but we have to look good....i mean..we gotta create a good impression when we actually go to skool...hahahhahaha....this sounds so funny...it's oni like a few minutes thingy....but yet so much stress!!! well...today i have been doin nuthin at all....i mean...nuthin productive...i have been watchin tv....lyin down on my bed....goin online....and EATING!!! i think i have an eating disorder :P seriously...i feel hungry so fast....i ate so much today....hahahhahaha must b da stress!!! i noe it's bad...but i cant control it...eating makes me forget abt the exam results...4 a while :P i noe it's funny...but serious!!! well...dats it 4 now...i'll write more 2nite...if i have anythin 2 say!!! ;)

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

~^~another boring tuesday~^~

hey...well...today is another normal and BORING day!!1 hehehhehe...it's always boring...haih...but i guess i will never feel this free after gettin into college...or mayb when i do form6!!!hmm...well...i think i just gotta enjoy it ;) anyway...i didnt do anythin much 2day...just lepak at home...hmm...and went 2 c granny again!!! hmm...other than dat...i didnt do anythin much...watched tv...came on9...hahahhaha...dats my daily routine!!!:P u noe wat...today i acually watched da news in full!!! hahahahahhahaha....my mom told me to watch it...to confirm the final date when the spm results will b released...i never actually have sat thru da whole thing....today is like the first time...i watched everythin...hahahhahaha...and honestly...there are like tonnes of stuff that i dun even wanna noe,....like sum land problems....sum person dyin coz he got poisoned and stuff...hahahhaha....anyway...it's called the news...it's supposed 2 tell us everythin under the sun...whether we wanna hear it or not :P well...today my aunt told me dat SPM results will b sent to the skools on wednesday...which is tomolo at 4.30pm....and the results will b released 2 students afta 8.30am.....haih...i noe it's comin my way...but it's really scaring me!!but...then again...i just gotta leave it all in the hands of GOD!!hopefully i do well....and hopefully we all do well!!! dats it 4 now....c ya soon!!!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

~MoNdAy~

today...a normal monday...with nuthin special 2 it...woke up 4m sleep...watched tv...visited granny...lepak at home...and came on9!!!daily routine...talk abt being bored...haih!!! well...i'm still counting my days towards "D" day!!! damn scary!!! haih...i guess oni God can help me!!!haih...it's all abt the results!!!hey,,,,have u ever felt...like ur missing sumthin in life...sumthin dat u once thought was so dear 2 u...but now it seems like it's goin further 4m u....like it's runnin away 4m u...and the worst thing is...u dont noe wat the reason is...to that sudden gap...dat creates a big hole...between u and me...keeping us apart 4m each other...haih....it's sad!!! really sad!!!i never knew...there would come a stage where we will just have to say goodbye to dat sumone...who u once thought u could keep and share happy times with!!! but sadly...u have left me...and now im all alone....i will cherish every moment we had together...and may god bless us !! may u live with loads of happiness in ur world...and hopefully i will b able to live happily in my own world!!! i guess...sumtimes things dun happen like wat we have planned!!! it goes...as wat he says...as wat The Mighty one says!!! and no matter how painful it is...i will accept wat is written 4 me with an open heart...coz i have faith in god,...and he will never let his child suffer!!!well...dats it!!!c ya!!!

Monday, March 07, 2005

CoNFuSeD??

haih...guess wat... i just gotta noe that there is sum sort of confusion goin on...the star newspapers said results will b out on thursday....but nst says dat it will b out on wednesday!!! i hate this!!! damn mah fan!!! tell us da truth lar...WHEN IS IT COMIN OUT???haih...i hate this...i am oledi in so much stress....and now this shit!!! haih...hate it lar!!! today i had driving...was ok lar...kinda fun!!! made me a bit relaxed...wasn't thinkin abt exams during the lessons...but afta the lessons, appa asked me to apply 4 JPA scholarship...hahahhahaha....their requirements are like so damn high....at least A2 4 all the subjects!!! want me 2 die ar....i doubt i can get that!!! anyway...there is nuthin wrong in tryin rite??? haih...today wasnt such a great day...thought a lot abt stuff...stuff dat shouldn't b in my mind!!!haih...sumtimes i wonder why ppl seem so nice at first...then end up showin their backs at us??haih...i dunno wat is there 4 me 2 do...i try my very best...yet i fail...wat am i supposed 2 do abt it? i mean...mayb it's just my luck!!! life seems so hard!!! never knew i would feel this way!!! especially NOW!!! well...there is nuthin i can do...otha than living my normal life!! a life dat i always lived and am living in!!!hmm...well...i so wished i could talk 2 sumone...spill everythin dat is in my heart!!! haih!!! thank god i have this blog thingy!!! can at least release sum of the tension i got hru deep inside me!!! again...it's all thanks 2 my sis!!!hmm...i guess dats it 4 now...c ya!!

Sunday, March 06, 2005

heyya!!!

hi!!! well...today is just a normal day...woke up...did sum work 4 dad....then had to go 4 sum healing treatment...it's supposed to keep me calm....it was nice lar...she did make me forget sum stuff dat i shouldnt keep in my heart....and the most important thing is dat she told me to always follow my heart!!! dat was so true!!! haih!!! and she said no matter how bad or good my results is...i must always stay calm.....and always have faith in god!!!wow...dat was great advice!!! haih...but sad 2 say...5 more days till "D" day!!! haih!!! so worried!!! well...i have oledi done it...no point worry'in rite...hahahahha...it's always easy 2 say!!!anyway...lets just hope and pray 4 da best!!! dats it 4 now...catch ya soon!!!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

>>>>NOOOOOOO!!!!<<<<

NOOOOOOOOO!!!! it came out in da papers today dat spm results will b out on thursday(10th of march 2005)!!!! noooooooooo!!! omg...it's comin out in less than a week....and i am so busted!!! i dam not ready at all...oh god!!! well...watever it is...i still gotta get it rite...sooner or later...so...i better b prepared anywayzz....haih...it feels like i just sat 4 it...and nor the results is gonna come out...haih....i woke up in shock this mornin when my dad came 2 my room and told me dat results will b out on thursday!!! hahahhahaha...was funny though...coz afta dat he was like..."sharu, r u ok??" hahahhaha...my dad is so cute at times...hehehhehe...once i woke up and my dad went out, i got a call...it was my mum...and she told me da same news also....and guess wat....she asked me whether i was ok or not...hahahhaha...it seems like they r all so scared dat i might go thru mental block or sumthin afta hearin dat shockin yet scary news!!!hahahhaha...well...i was nervous...and i still am...but i guess...i gotta get over it...i mean...wats the point ...i have oledi done it...and i cant do anythin 2 change it!!! but sumtimes...u feel so worried...whether u wrote the right thing...or whether u answered da correct question...haih!!! anywayzz....we shall wait and c...haih...if it's bad...i'll just have 2 work extra harder...and if it's good...i got loads of ppl to thank man!!! i mean...my parents...annoyin bro...who were always there 2 give me support anytime!!!muaxx!!!...well...my pet bro's and sis....4 tips :P and support!!! luv u guys!! hmm...my frens...who were with me thru out the journey in form 5!!! thanks guys!!! hmm...my teachers...the skool and tuition teachers....omg...without u guys...i think i wouldnt have the chance 2 even sit 4 spm!!! hahahahah...well...i must thank u guys whether i do well or i don't!!! coz...i couldnt have done anythin without u all!!!! oh yah...i must thanks my uncles, aunties...cuzins...wow...they did so much 4 me wei!!! can u believe it...i'm thankin them b4 the results is even out!! LOLZ!!! TALK ABT BEIN CRAZEE!!! well...i think it's never wrong to thank the ppl who u treasure in ur heart!!!well...hmm...otha than dat...today was another normal day...went on9, watched tv...and had sum fun wif frens!!! well...dats it!! c ya soon!!!...and remember...6 MORE DAYS!!! HAHAHHAHAHA!! :p i noe...i'm freakin myself out too! LOLZZ! LETS JUST PRAY!!! AND HOPE 4 DA BEST COZ DATS ALL WE CAN DO NOW!!! pray 4 me k???

Friday, March 04, 2005

wat a bad day!!!

hi...not quite well today....goin thru loads of anxiety...and depression....all coz of this stupid spm results!!!...haih!!! i was feeling so sick 2day...i was okay in da mornin...it all started afta 6pm....omg...i hate have anxiety....coz i get all sick and stuff....it's freaky...i couldnt stand it...so i did cry!!! u noe wat...i'm feelin better afta cryin...helps me forget all my problems 4 a while!!!hmm...i wonder whether this anxiety thingy will last 4 eva? haih...if it does...i am so gonna have problems when i go to college!!! haih...i hope The Mighty one....will help keep me healthy always!!! hmm...well...i guess dats it 4 today....no mood to blog lar....catch ya sum otha time kayzz??? byezz!!!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

a normal wednesday....hmm...

hey...back again!!! thank god msn works again!!! hahahhaha....sad 2 say lar...but i'm really addicted to da com!!! i mean...no com means no life:P hahahahha....nolar...not until so bad!!! well...i find the net the oni way 2 communicate!!! hmm...my life is never complete...if i dun have the com by my side!!! well...enough abt the com...lets get back 2 business...hahahha...well...2day is just another normal day!!! woke up...watched tv....came on9...then lepak at home...lepak wif fwens....then...go on9 again!!! hahahahha...wow...daily routine d!!!..today i thought a lot abt love.....i mean...although love is such a painful game....people just feel handicap without love...i mean...there is never a person who doesnt wanna fall in love...besides me dat is :P...i mean...lookin at how the ppl around me fall in love...and their experience...just freaks me out sumtimes!!..if i ever do fall in love...i think i must b at least 21!!! i noe lar...a bit the old...but i guess...dat is da oni time i would actually b careful in choosin my soul partner!!! :P hahahha...u noe wat...once right my bm teacher actually had a look at my hand...and he said i'll oni get married when i'm 40!!!hahahahha...dats a joke!!! i mean...i'd prefer being single lar...hahahhaha...so weird....hahahhaha...we shall just wait and c...to comfirm whether it's true or not :P..hmm...well dats it 4 now...catch ya later!!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!!

hey....u noe wat....out of all the days in the year....today the MSN server had 2 b down!!!! damn i hate it!!! i so wanted to go online and chat....coz i'm havin da chattin mood...but sadly this just had to happen!!!! wat the hell is goin on....why is this happenin!!! haih...how sad!!! i dunno y...i feel so handicap without MSN messenger!!! i mean...dat is da oni source of entertainment!!!! why is this happenin!!!! haih!!! kinda freaky u noe...i just realised how madly i am addicted to msn messenger!!! this has to stop wei!!! there are more important things in life...haih....but wat is a bored gal supposed 2 do...how long can u watch tv??? i mean....i prefer goin online than watchin tv at times...coz sumtimes,....there is nuthin nice 2 watch!!! haih...i feel so sad today!!! i dunno how this could happen....haih!!! well...i guess nuthin is perfect after all...hahhahaha....we are not perfect...so we cant expect the messenger 2 b perfect either :P hahahaha...u c...i do this best!!....i so rock when it come to crappin!!! hehehhehe...wow...thank god i have this blog!!! it fills my time...when i'm damn bored!!! hmm...talkin abt today...well....i didn't do much in da mornin...neither did i do anythin in da afternoon...hmm...but i did do sumthin in da evenin!!! i met my close frens again...kaveena and dhar!!! wow...had a fun chat wif them...we were like laughin all da way!!! hehehehhe...i guess dats y frens can never stop talkin....we just have so many things 2 talk abt!!! hahahhaha...plus were gurls...wat is there 4 us to d...otha than bitchin abt ppl...and talkin abt cute guys:P.....not forgettin...abt movies 2!!! well...i guess it's just us....gurls!!! wow...we can really talk ha?? one day must race and c...who can talk da most!!! wonder who will win dat competition...hmm...hehehhe....well...nuthin much happened...it's just another boring day....well...i mean extra boring coz i cant go online!!!! :'( haih!!! anyway...lets just try doin sumthin...i guess it wouldnt b dat bad rite...living without msn messenger!!! hahhahaha...well...i guess dats all 4 2day!!! c ya soon!! ;)

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

wat a boring life!!!!

heyya!! haih....today is such a boring day....lepak at home oni...hmm...didn't do anythin new today....went online...watched the oscars...burned sum cds....hmm....dat was it....hahhahaha...wat a sad life!!! i guess my life will b like this till i get my results...sadly!!! haih...so tension!!!! dunno wat sort of results i'm gonnna get!! i so hope i do well!!!! but then again...it's all up 2 god now!!! there is nuthin much dat i can do!!!hmm...my close fren is comin tomolo....i thyink this might b like da last time i c her b4 we actually go to college...coz she lives in sabah!!! haih...dats it i guess...4 today!!! if i have anythin 2 add...i'll write another post!!!

Monday, February 28, 2005

today in history!!! LOLZ!!!

hi!!!! wow...we meet again!!!! today was a good day....i drove 4 da first time!!! great ha? it was so cool!!! i thought it was hard....but it wasnt dat bad...it was really fun!!!! i mean...i never knew i would get behind wheels dat fast!!! hahahahahha....i did make a few mistakes...till my teacher actually laughed at me...he asked me adjust the seat....i ended up openin the bonnet!!!! hahahahahahha dat was so funny!!!! i think my teacher was really patient wif me!!! thanks mr.andy!!!! well...i hope i do master driving fast....then i'll just b a call away....need a lift? and i'll b there....in front of ur doorstep....hahahhaha...sharu da driver!!! hahahahahha!!! seems so nice 2 drive!!! i so cant wait!!!! imagine life...when u can drive....!!!! wow!!! i could like go lepakin all da time...wow!!!! but sadly, i still gotta use my dads car!!! haih...nvm!!!! soon...i'll get my own car!!!! hmm....today was just a normal day...went to one utama again...haih...dat place is gettin boring day by day!!! haih....hmm...i dunno y but recently i have been having this feeling....u noe...da feeling of losing a friend.....haih....dunnolar....it seems like dat person...is goin further from me...day by day!!! well...i guess it's normal lar...sumtimes...they cant b permanent frens....rite? haih....however...i think the friendship i had was nice,....and fun....and i did enjoy it....and i hope dat person did 2!!!!! haih...talkin abt frens....hmm...i miss u guys!!!! hope 2 c ya soon!!!!!!!! i guess dats it 4 today....catch ya sum otha time!!!

Saturday, February 26, 2005

hmm...was damn bored!!!!!!

hi again!!! wow...another blog...3 blogs...in one day...dats really too many 4 a day...but who cares...i am so loving this....i have to thank my pet sis lar...she is da one...who made me interested in this...thanks sis!!! :) well...today was a normal day....had many things 2 think abt today...such as my spm results...which will b out really...REALLY soon!!! haih...damn scary!!!haih...i just hope...if i get bad results...i won't...i mean...I WONT commit suicide!!! hahahahha...i have always thought dat it was a stupid thing 2 do....but it happens...i guess....it's coz of ur state of mind...!!! haih...well...i also thought abt my frens 2day....missed them so much lar!!! i mean...we rarely meet these days....everyone is just so bz wif their own lives...wow!!! i guess...this happens...!!! no matter how far they r 4m me...they will always b in my heart!!! luv u guys so much!!! i also thought abt my granny's sis(mersing mutiamma)....mutiamma means granny in malayalam...wow...we miss her so much...i guess...there is never a permanent resident on earth....we will all have to leave sooner or later!!! haih...my granny is still so sad!!! she thinks abt her sis everyday...during every meal...and even when she watches tv...she called and talked 2 her brother- in-law 2day...and i guess dat made her feel much better!!! well...mersing mutiamma....i dunno where u r at this moment...but...all i noe is dat...we are all missing u...and we love u so much!!! hmm....well...i guess dat was all i thought abt today...haih...life seems so boring lar...i jus can't wait till college life starts...or mayb skool life...haih...it all depends on my results....either...form6, college, or uni( a slight chance oni....dat is if i get my matriculation)...haih!!!! if oni i could stop studyin!!!!!but....a part of me still wants to learn more....haih!!! my life is just so messy!!!! u noe wat...today i suddenly felt...like i have the best ppl around me...my parents...my bro...granny....my frens...my pet siblings...wow!!! hmm...have u ever had a broken friendship b4??? i think i'm goin thru dat....haih...friendship....sumthin dat i once thought shouldn't at all b broken....but i guess....sum ppl just hate keeping friends 4 a long duration of time!!! well it's ok....no matter how urt my heart is...i still gotta go on wif life....hmm...i guess....thats it 4 now...might come back really soon!!!! hehehehhe ;)

Friday, February 25, 2005

my boo...

hahahha...i kinda love this thing....well...listenin 2 the song..my boo-by usher and a.keys...luv da lyrics...and it's true....i love the first few lines of the song....it could apply 2 anyone...not only ur lover....but also ur frens....or even ur family......:)

the first few lines: there's always that one person,
that will always have ur heart,
u'll never c it comin...
coz u're blinded 4m da start....

is it true??? who could possibly have my heart :P hahahha....well...i guess there are sum ppl out there who would spend sum time thinkin abt us(each and everyone of us)....as we are all special ppl....we are all special in our own way...:) but why is it dat we can never find out....who dat person is....da person who spends every second of his/her life...thinkin abt us....it's hard....really hard 4 us to find out....i guess dats y they always say...always learn sumthin...from every new person u meet in life ...and cherish every moment that u have spent wif dat particular person....i guess that is da only way we have...towards finding that special sumone.. ;)

first time!!!

hey!! wow...never knew i would finally blog...hehehheh...my pet sis did it...i had so many things in my mind...so i thought this is da only way 4 me to express it all out...haih...my life seems so screwed up...i dunno wat is happenin...everythin seems so different nowadays...nuthin seems the same...i guess dats life...it can never stay the same...it changes with time...but why...why is it...dat i'm only startin to realise it now...hmm...well i guess i never really sat down and thought abt my life...haih...i always thought my life was very close to perfect....i mean...i had everythin...lovin and supportive parents....an annoyin bro...who is kinda cute at times...hehehhe...pet bro's and sis...cool and really caring frens....cuzins who really cared a lot 4 me...granny...who is always there....to give me comfort when i was in great need....wow!!! dat was perfect 4 me...!!! but now....although i still have my family, cuzins, frens...my heart asks 4 more....but i just don't noe...wat it is....! it's hard!!! really hard!!! haih...mayb it's just tension....coz spm results is comin out soon...haih...i dun get it...no matter how well u do 4 upsr or pmr...or even in skool....it's useless...coz it all comes back to SPM!!!...and next will b college life....i am so not ready 4 dat...hmm...but i just gotta face it...haih....i have no idea...wat to do...i have cried enough....too much tear drops....haih...sumtimes....behind every smile...there is tonnes of sadness...just waitin to crush us....crush us into small pieces...wow!!! i can't imagine...how much damage it could cause...but...i have yet to find...the real cause...behind every sadness....dat i carry in me....well...thereis nuthin a gurl could do....we only can cry....that is our only weapon....only weapon...for us to shed all our sadness away....and make us stronger...hmm...i guess this is life....a messy life!!!!